Gary L. Simmons  rev 07/24/03  http://webwonks.org/Marathon/WeirdScience.html
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The Battle Cat's Litterbox


When actual science isn't weird enough

As mercenary-Hessian, computer-geek, game-playing, Marathon-spazeroids we have all seen them. Little game glitches and physics oddities that amaze us and sometimes brings us to a stop while we watch. Our inattention is usually paid for with a volley of Trooper grenades or a SPNKR rocket up the ol wazoo that brings us to our severed kneecaps while projectile vomiting our small intestine villi through sour smoke-seared nostrils, BUT we have witnessed something truly unique and amazing or at least unusual enough to warrant hitting that action key and starting over again. Strange and bizarre happenings are rare but have occurred often enough that I decided to try to save films of them. I have documented UFOs, atomic   BOB pairs decaying into rocket particles, wall plasterings, levitations and much more. So here, on this page, are some of the films I have managed to set aside after having witnessed something unusual. You are invited to participate if you like, send in a film of something weird or amazing and the name of the map the film was created with. Just tell me what to look for in the film and, if the map the film came from is not at this website, send me the URL of the map. Due to lack of space at the present time, I cannot accept the actual maps. If your map is not online, then by all means send it to the bungie.org archives attached to an email so that others can enjoy your cool map regardless of whether or not you send me a film from it.


To view these films properly make sure you have NO physics models selected in your prefs. Even though it may appear your prefs are pointing to the right files, go through them and select the exact files, namely the map that the film was created from, the film you download here and the rest is default. Default physics, default sound, default shapes. Also sometimes Marathon gets a little confused, make sure you have the maps in the same folder as the Marathon app. If the map shows the Marine trying to walk into walls then dies and lays there for 2 minutes you need to go through your prefs and app folder and straighten things out. Be advised that sometimes I suicide immediatly after something weird happens in the beginning of a game because I know I need to stop and save it. You need nothing other than the films and the maps provided here to view these films. Let me know if you have any problems. One last word here, this page concerns normal physics models. I am not interested in whacky physics models that do whacky things. Show me the weirdness that can occur in normal Marathon physics.


Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 1

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Here is the first of the weird levitations. We have all blown a monster into the air. What is unusual about the physics here is that a real object will cease upward motion after it encounters an obstruction, this is not what is happening here. After splatting against the ceiling, momentum carries the corpse into an area with a higher ceiling. Rather than following an arc from the original ceiling height to the deck, the corpse shoots straight up to the new ceiling height. My theory is that the corpse has relaxed as death ensues causing the anal spincter to release a sudden gust of gas propelling them upwards. You may poo poo this theory and say it stinks, but YOU explain it!
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 2

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When two oppositely charged BOBs get too close to each other they may sometimes reach critical mass. The result is a tremendous release of energy that not only annihilates the two BOBs but, in the process, the combined BOB guts immediatly decay into a SPNKR rocket particle. My theory is that this particle's direction of travel is spherical, that is, traveling in every direction at the same time. The observer can only detect the SPNKR particle as a rocket traveling directly toward them. Ob-zur-ov...
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 3

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See? I told you. And you thought I was making this crap up! Witness for yourself the awesome power of nature as once again two ill fated BOBs get too close to each other and reach critical mass. Or is that critical mess? This second film proves beyond the eensy beansiest faintest nominal glimmering shadow of a fricka fracken doubt that the SPNKR particle's direction of travel is spherical.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 4

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SMG Levitation. This might have happened to you too. Every now and then while emptying a magazine of KKV-7 10mm SMG flechettes into a beastie they will suddenly lift into the sky. Now I have never had a magazine of this ordinance emptied into my rapidly soiling britches but I can well imagine that somewhere between the 30th and 40th round smoking through your aching gall bladder something in the subconscious just wants so badly to get the HELL out of there somehow... ANYHOW that in total and complete flubber pated desperation a long buried antediluvian instinct kicks in and, zoop, up you go.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 5

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Here is another instance of kicking the crap out of a monster so hard that he scrapes all the hair and skin off the top of his head as he grates across the rough filth smeared ceiling. If you listen very very carefully you can hear an extremely faint "fweeeeeeet" as his sphincter relaxes and the gas in his bowels propels him upwards into the higher ceiling space. It helps if you plug your sound out port into a boom box and crank it up to the max. Snag your grandpa's hearing aid and put the boom box earphones over that. You may have to twiddle the graphic equalizer a bit to get it. Keep trying. If someone speaks to you while you have the earphones on, please remember to have the common courtesy to shout over the noise when answering them.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 6

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At first glance you may think that this is an ordinary film showing a completely incompetent boob jerking around like Frankenstein's monster, missing his shots and accidentally suiciding on a BOB like a total Ajax snorting spazeroid. Well, that is what THEY want you to think! I believe I have conclusive proof of the existence of UFOs in Marathon. I swear I haven't had any Sterno yet this morning, nothing but Cruex, Brasso and flea shampoo with a twist of Baby Wipes. Honest. I only drink Sterno in the evenings. Look for yourself, at the very end of the film you will see a small object traveling upwards at an angle from right to left. That, me hardys, is a UFO! Or... it could be someones liver... let me see that film again?
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 7

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Here is an armored Hunter who took the easy way out. Straight up. You would think that with all that armor he had on he would at least have asked me to unzip him first so he could shimmy his shoulders out of those stainless steel cable spaghetti straps to let the riveted berillian alloy armor float to the ground in gossamer folds. I guess his only other alternatives would be to spontaneously teleport his wretched bullet ridden carcass into another dimension or die like a scurvy dog writhing on the floor much like an earthworm would in an electric frying pan full of firecrackers. Sucks to be him. This film is a tad long but you can fast forward to where I am using the SMG, after the Hunter levitates, quit.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 8

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This is a double whammy film. There is some sort of mama Jamba big medicine Ouija mojo going on in this film. First up is the incorrect heads up display. I am firing double shotguns but suddenly the MA75-B battle rifle appears on my heads up display. It stays there until I run out of shotgun ammo. I feel the "evil eye" all over me on that one. A flying dead BOB arcs into view like he is going to splatter but falls as an intact body. A Hunter fried with repeated fusion gun fire dies a soft death. Later in this same film we have another Hunter levitation. Although I am peppering his ass with SMG fire at the time, I think it is all the feathered, dried entrail hoodoo talismans I have hanging all over me by that time to ward off the boogaties that scare the begezzus out of him. He is probably acting like the old Warner Bros cat, Claude, who keeps getting frightened so badly he automatically gravitates to the ceiling. Make sure you bite down on a rabbit's foot while you watch this one.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 9

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Here is a mother-of-all-wall-plasterings. The BOB is hit so hard that while he is being mooshed into those little acoustic ceiling tile pores at super high pressure his body is vibrating in and out like a guitar string. You can almost see his teeth shaking out of his head and rattling to the floor like bloody dice. This is also known as "The Shaken BOB Syndrome". If you see somebody shaking a BOB like this then you should call the governmental "BOB Protection Agency" because I am sure that the agent would like to shake BOB's teeth out too and if you don't share they will take them away from you.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 10

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This is a one of a kind thingy happening here. I charge a BOB and run straight into him. I stop briefly only because he is in my way, my finger has not lifted from the "forward" button. Suddenly I slip right through him as if he were a cloud of stray ionic particles. He did not die, he just dissapeared and I ran right through the spot he was standing in because my finger was still pressing the damn run button. I turned around and killed him. I suffered no ill effects from that incident but later I realized that I was wearing his underpants... backwards.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 11

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Here we have a rare MA75-B Hunter levitation from bullets only. I have never seen this before. I am not talking about a grenade levitation, that happens alla time. The Hunter stands his ground until I charge him then he does with ease that which took Orville and Wilbur years to accomplish. What possibly could have happened here is that by charging him the rate of bullet impacts may have supplied enough energy to lift him. Rather like the Doppler effect. If you run backwards firing, fewer bullets would hit him in a given time period than if you were running towards him. I may have nudged him a little with a grenade but it was definitely the bullets that sent him into orbit. This is a long film, fast forward to where I am using the battle rifle. Sorry about that.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 12

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Your basic Staff Fighter SMG levitation. Don't worry, I won't show you another Fighter or Hunter levitation after this. Please don't bother to send them in, they are well documented already. The good news is that it happens at the beginning of the film, the bad news is that it is a long ass survival film. Feel free to quit after the levitation. I have levitated a Cyborg with an SMG before. I really wish I had the presence of mind to save a film of that. That was a long while ago in Hell Hole 1.5. Gotta get cracking and work on levitating a Cyborg again, then I promise, no more levitations!
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 13

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Now this one is totally different. Plus it is mercifully short because I must have been half asleep while playing. In this film I am knocked into the air and killed in midair. Nothing unusual about that, but the way I die is very bizarre. I suddenly snap around backwards, do a 180, and zoom into the Blood Trough. What would this have looked like to another player? Did my whole body suddenly crank around or was it just my head? Possibly my body just sank to the ground and it was my head, severed, that suddenly flew back in the direction from which I came. This one was a real head scratcher... now if only I can find my head...
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 14

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HEY! I was tooling around in Hell Hole 1.5 trying to levitate a Cyborg with the SMG and I'll be an ebolamonkeysuncle if I didn't levitate one of those fume spewing, oil dripping SOBs. It was destined to fail, I mean I was running around picking up SMG ammo and health with the intention of just picking fights with Cyborgs for a levitation. It should have taken years of all nighters trying to oomph one of those suckers into the ozone for no other reason other than just because I was trying to do it. Watch for yourself as half a metric ton of synthoflesh, hydrolics and syncromesh turbo gears are magically lifted up several stories from the high velosity energy of a magnum SMG. I would imagine if you had smoking flechettes schlucking into your ill protected nether regions you'd be high stepping it too! OK, no more levitations unless they are really weird in some way.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 15

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We all know that a SMG shoots through water. What happens though when you shoot through a column of water onto a dry surface? Weird science is what happens! When the SMG flechettes hit the media column they spark, not weird enough? Well when they exit the column and strike a dry surface... they SPLASH! See it for your self in this film.... I thought you would never ask, YES, I have a theory. Hollow points me boyo. The flechette projectile must be a hollow pointed round, as the round passes through the media the hollow point fills with media, when it strikes a dry surface afterwards it splashes out of the hollow.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 16

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Here is a fine example of getting hammered into the crack between two split polys. In the film you will see me suicide against a BOB with my SPNKR like the true slack-jawed spazeroid I have decayed into. I am thrown back onto a vertex that joins a regular poly to a standard split poly. This teleports me (for some reason) into the middle of the adjoining split polys. Not only am I suddenly in the middle of the split polys, I am at the wrong height, the ceiling/floor height is way way above my head. Not a bit befuddled by this, the Marathon engine slowly lifts my battered corpse to the proper height like I was on some sort of elevator to heaven which is even MORE weird because that is NOT the direction I'll be heading! I was unable to duplicate this but here it is for you to see for yourself... the enigma we call Marathon.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 17

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This one is a weapons glitch. You have to look closely to see this one and you have to suffer through 48 seconds of me spazing a grenade into my own teeth, messing with the tiny mind of a BOB who is trying to open the damn door, and miscellaneous lurching until you see me duck into one of those lit side alcoves in the wall. I jump in there for cover because I have just fired the last rocket in the pack and I am vulnerable until my SPNKR reloads. As I come out of the alcove my trigger is pressing on the fire button and not only does the rocket fire before the SPNKR animation brings the rocket launcher up to my shoulder, that rocket is free. I Still have two rockets left, one of which I fire and the other I scamper away with.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 18

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Multiple monster shots from a platform. Back when I was making the World Tour Net pack I created a small platform in one of the levels. As I was play testing the level a Trooper teleported onto the platform and was stuck there. You see, the platform had no stop time, it was always in motion, and did not allow time for him to animate off of it. He was able to shoot from the platform but not while it was moving, only the split instant it reached the top or bottom of its travel. By the time the platform had reached a terminus the monster had attempted to fire numerous times but his firing animation could only engage during that instant the platform was not in motion. When it stopped, a hail of dozens of grenades showered out from him. I do not have that film anymore but I have another film that shows somewhat the same thing. A NetBOB on top of a platform firing a dozen rockets at once. Again we have a case of the arrested firing animation. Watch closely, it is at the end of the film.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 19

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Here is one that once I noticed it the first time I started seeing it again later in other maps. That is so weird how that happens, you know how once you notice something you suddenly start seeing it all over the place. Like Kevin Bacon movies? Anyway, I was tooling the monsters in "The Holodeck" level of D-Day not too long ago and I noticed a Cyborg poot out a grenade. It bounced once then again higher then again so high that it bounced through the sky texture and disappeared! What was up with that?? My theory is flubber grenades. What else bounces higher with each bounce? Nothing, so therefore, it was made out of flubber. Why flubber? Well why not! Look at the wild weird and wacky experimentation the US military does for criminy sake. Chicks in the military for one: "This crater could really use some curtains", "WIPE YOUR FEET! You just walked through blood you big oaf", "Can you be a dear and open this jar of whoop-ass for me". So again I ask, why not flubber grenades??? Anyway, look for the grenade after I get knocked into the blood trough. I play like a spaz so I die quickly and it ain't like you need a bowl of popcorn or nuttin.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 20

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Hey, you know what you don't get enough of here? Cyborg levitations. Sure sure sure I know you didn't sneeze while chewing a big mouthful of levitation and that all that levitation coming out your nose and mouth and tear ducts and all the levitation bits all over your shirt and CRT is from watching all these damn levitation films but consider this: You have not yet popped. So here to help you pop from watching too many levitations is yet another film showcasing a Cyborg levitation. You don't have to thank me, watching you explode is all the thanks I need! Now I know you can't wait to watch this film but first let me offer a new theory I've been kicking around. Why do they jump up as opposed to jump back or to the side or stand their ground or just run away? The CIA is beaming mental instructions directly into its Cyborg brain from weather satellites through holes they punched into the ozone with Miss Clairol Extra Hold hair spray! To test this theory I must play against a Cyborg with tin foil on it's head. I mean, if tin foil has consistently stopped "The Voices" for me personally in the past then tin foil should work on a Cyborg too, and if the Cyborg never levitates while wearing a tin foil turban then it is indeed solid Weird Science. You can fast forward to where I am using the SMG or you can just suffer through the whole damn thing.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 21

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Here is something new. I don't know what to call it, possibly micro-teleportation or instant poly hopping. I am hit by a rocket and my tub of stinking guts flies through the air over a flight of long wide steps (1WU X 1WU). I seem to be teleporting from the center of one step poly to the leading edge of the same poly while still maintaining my unaffected downward arcing plummet. This might seem to be a simple defective teleport poly but this same set of polys has been traversed a billion times from all directions with out ever teleporting me. DON'T try this at home kids, it may look easy but it was more painful than using your face to push a rabid cat into a bag full of weenie dogs. You may notice a long pause before I start moving after the film starts... I'm busy unwrapping a Hershey's Kiss. I can't just rip it open and pop it in my mouth, I must slowly undress it like it is a tender, pouting chocolate breast thrust out with yearning and adorned in a delicate and frilly foil brassiere. Hence the extra long delay, you chocolate lovers will understand, the rest of you can eat my shorts. You can fast forward to the second time I am using the flame thrower.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 22

You must own Marathon 2: Durandal to view this film

MjolniR sent me this amazing "Marathon 2: Durandal" net film from the Bungie level, "Thunderdome". You should all view this and learn. In it he is fighting against his arch nemesis: the horrendously vile, wicked, vicious and despicable "Honorable Logaan-san". Logaan graduated from the Imperial Japanese School of Aviation with high honors and pretty much has his kamikaze routine down pat. He will rush you with his SPNKR and suicide on you then respawn quickly and gather all the change that fell out of your pockets. Now I'm not one to criticize one's net style because all is fair in love, war, ice hockey and net games, and I have done this myself. Until I viewed this film, I never knew that there was a way to survive an attack like this. You can see MjolniR not only endure and leave the encounter without a scratch, but the attacker is splattered into chum! Do I have a theory you ask? YES I have a theory. It has to be that metal plate in MjolniR's head, a byproduct from the "She Had an Older Brother" incident that so "rerouted" MjolniR's love life. You will notice that sometimes he is killed with a suicide but the one time the metal plate is facing the angle of attack, he survives with nothing worse than spontaneously mass producing a soft, warm 7 lb load in his pants. You can fast forward the film to where he is using double fists, then watch for when they are in the center of the arena after that.
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 23

You must own Marathon Infinity to view this film

This very informative and morally instructional film was inspired by Onan, created by Alister and donated to Weird Science by his brother Malaka Mags. The film shows Alister playing the Vidmaster's Challenge in the "If I Only Had a Rocket Launcher Somebody Would Pay" level. Alister is doing fine until he runs out of fusion batteries. Just in the exact same instant he drains his last battery he powers up the secondary trigger on the Fusion Pistol. He is stuck in secondary trigger power-up mode yet the weapons display switches to the next available weapon. In addition, the out of ammo sound keeps playing. Poor Alister is blindly running about trying to switch his weapons but the only thing that changes is the weapons HUD. The empty Fusion Pistol is still stuck in his hand and the trigger is still stuck on overload. I would love to have a recording of what he was saying during this time-of-much-scampering. Poor Alister suffers the fate of all who have over extended the secondary trigger time limit, he is now wall pigment. I have a theory about what caused this. Careless masturbation. Alister should have at least wiped his hand off on his shirt before picking up the weapons for a fight. Men, always wash your hands after you pleasure yourself! Remember, the Fusion Pistol (unlike your "pork bazooka") is a very delicate and finely tuned instrument. Now I'm not here to judge this... ::shudder:: icky dirty little disgusting pervert but, you are here to spill alien blood, not your seed. Stay focused!!
Skully ain't afraid a no ghosts!

Weird Science 24

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Every now and then something weird happens here in the Weird Science page, I figure something out, ie Marathon doesn't like the edge of things! When things change over from one state to another or from one poly to another etc, Marathon is vulnerable to confusion, as in Weird Science 8, 16, 17, 18, 21, 22 and 23. In fact this film appears to be very much the same glitch as in film 22. But now I have gotten ahead of my self because this is a double whammy Weird Science film. First out of the can is the strange case of the critical mass BOBs at the beginning of the film. I open a door and "BOOM!" 2 oppositely charged Bobs reach critical mass and decay into a SPNKR particle. (See Weird Science 2 and 3) This sets the stage for the next event, I plan to suicide against the wall in order to make the film mercifully short for viewers. I pick up a launcher and a rocket, run back a ways and kamikaze against the wall. Just as I reach the wall, SPNKR ammo reappears and I pick up a rocket pack the same instant I fire the weapon. Nothing happens in the explosion other than my face getting so black I am now eligible for slave reparations. I was in the twilight zone of Marathon, the Periphery Zone.

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