Gary L. Simmons  rev 12/07/06  http://webwonks.org/Hobbies/Peppers/Recipes.html
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Red Hot Chili Pepper Recipes

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I have made more friends AND enemies with this recipe that any other potluck dish I've taken to work.

Note: The following recipes are quite real and very tasty, they are just presented in a humerous light.

Note Note: It is called Salsa Godzilla because after eating a bite you too can melt a Sherman tank with your breath.

Note Note PS: Basically you just chop salsa ingredients all up and throw it in a bowl. No need for real instructions, just try to hit the bowl.

Note Note PS Note: Don't chop up the habanero sauce and throw it in a bowl.

Note Note PS Note Note: Blend the habanero sauce ingredients into slop and throw it into a bottle, try to hit the bottle.

Note Note PS Note Note PS: I am in no way encouraging you to "hit the bottle" hit the bottle.


Gary's Salsa Godzilla

(makes enough to kill 1 dozen large wharf rats)

INGREDIENTS:

1 Dozen jalapeno peppers, approx. 3/8 lb.
18 Serrano peppers, approx. 1/4 lb.
Dried, roasted Thai chiles, (enough for 1/2 cup ground)
1/4 lb. Fresh Thai chiles
1 Tbl. Ground cayenne Pepper
1/2 Tsp. black pepper
1 Dozen dried Habañero chiles, 1/4 oz.
4 Medium tomatoes , approx. 1.5 lbs.
4 Medium garlic cloves
1 Large bunch of green onions, approx 3/8 lb.
Cilantro (mexican parsley), one bunch, approx. 1/4 lbs.
11.5 Oz. can Campbell's tomato juice
1/2 Tsp. ground cumin
1/2 Tsp. ground coriander
1 Six-pack Bud Light

DIRECTIONS:

Crack open one of them Buds and chug it down, right off. Wipe off your mouth with the back of your hand, crack open another Bud and set it off to the side. Wash off the produce making sure to scrape off any mold, rotten spots and stubborn insects (keep the cilantro bound in its bunch for easier chopping). Take another monster hit off that Bud. Knock the stems off of the serranos and the jalapenos and dump them into a food processor with the chopping blade attached. Fire that mother up and slug down the rest of that Bud while those peppers are chopped up medium fine. Pop the top of nother Bud and slam it down on the counter. Belch loud as ya can, wipe your chin. We're cookin' now. Dump the peppers into a large bowl and and look around for that beer. Give up and knock the stems off of enough of th' Thai chilies to make 1/2 cup of semi-fine ground and do th' deed on them chumps in a blender. De-stem de Habañeros and blender dem too, and oh mama, don't breath the dust, rub your eye or play with yourself! Take this time to find that stupid Bud and do as much damage as you can to it when you find it. The Thai chilies outta be done by now so dump 'em into the large bowl then finish the Bud and grab 'nother. Scratch your butt then rub your nose. Slice up th' onions and maim that Bud. Toss the onions ina th' big bowl and kill the Bud. Nab a new Bud and lean up gainst the 'frigerator and stare at the wall. Sit on the floor a while.................... .................... ................. ............. ....... ......................... .......... ............. .................... .......... where wuz I? - oh yeah, take th' last glug outta th' Bud an glom onta th' las one. Crawl over t' the counter and pull yerself up. Hack the 'matoes up n try ta hit the bowl. Hack the cilantro up too, no big stemns. Drink more beer. Garlic press th'...... uh, garlic. Drink beer. Fart. Pud a pincha blak pep'r in uh, it. An a parta t'spoon of cumn n coridander ana cayenne. Swig beer. Slosh inna cana juce. Mix up it. fnihs yr bere. slop itina jar. siddown.

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Yes, it gets worse! Better gargle melted wax before eating this stuff.

Gary's Salsa Godzilla Brand Habañero Sauce

Version 1.3
(makes enough to alienate all your friends twice)

Habanero Sauce

INGREDIENTS:

1/4 Oz. Dried habañero chiles. (This is the size package common in stores)
1/2 Tsp onion powder or the white section of one green onion.
3-4 Medium garlic cloves
1/4 Tsp sea salt
5 oz. Distilled water
1 Dozen strike anywhere kitchen matches.
1 #4 Grappling style fish hook.
1/2 Cup battery acid
1 Matchlite charcoal briquette.
1 G.E. Laundry iron.
1 1/2" X 4" Machine bolt.

DIRECTIONS:

Plug in the iron and turn it to the steam setting. Use a kitchen match to ignite the briquette, put the match out on the tip of your tongue. Remove the stems from the chilies and toss the chilies into a blender. Light the remaining kitchen matches on your teeth, putting them out as before. Add the garlic, onion, sea salt and water to the blender. Do your doggone best to swallow the fishhook. Set the Blender to frappé and fire that mother up. Gargle 1/2 cup battery acid but don't swallow any cause we don't want none of that macho crap here. Stop often to scrape the sides of the blender with a rubber spatula. Use the charcoal briquette to heat up the bolt to a cheerful cherry red then pick the red hot bolt up with your lips. You need to blend the ingredients in the blender for four or five minutes, until the chiles are completely liquefied. You can take this opportunity to see if the iron is ready by firmly pressing the flat of your tongue to it. Turn off the blender and pour the liquid into a small bottle. Extinguish the charcoal briquette by smothering it in your mouth. Turn off the iron. Refrigerate the habañero sauce between usage, and when you use this stuff, please try not to get any of it in your mouth!!

OK OK the REAL Directions:

Add the ingredients to a blender and blend on medium until smooth. Stop the blender occasionally and push down the chili sauce that has been splashed onto the side of the blender carafe with a spatula. This will probably take about 5 minutes. When fully blended, remove the carafe and hold it between your hands. Swirl the contents against the side of the container to remove all the bubbles. That's all there is to it!

Put this into one of those 5 ounce bottles of store bought pepper sauce such as Tapatio hot sauce. It has a plastic stoppered mouth with a small shaker hole that is a great way to apply this sauce to your food. Just pour the store bought swill down the drain and wash the bottle out. You can reuse the same bottle for years. You should have some room left in the bottle, top it off with more distilled water. If the sauce is too thick once chilled, add more distilled water when there is room. Once mixed, keep the bottle of sauce refrigerated between uses. Shake before using.

Double the recipe and put it into a 10 oz. bottle if you are insane like me.

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This isn't as cruel but it is very good, a waiter at El Torito brought me this as a surprise when I told him I wanted a dozen serranos with my meal.

Chilies Torreados
(Serranos in Lime Juice)
(makes enough to give you red hot poo poos the next day)

INGREDIENTS:

1 Dozen serrano chilies.
1 large fresh lime.

DIRECTIONS:

Wash the serranos but leave the stems intact (you use them as handles when you eat them). Cut the lime in two and squeeze the juice into a small sauce pan. Remove any seeds. Put the limes into the sauce pan and cover it. Bring it to a simmer and let it simmer for 3 to 5 minutes. Do not let the juice evaporate completely, you may need to add a couple of tablespoons of water if your lime is too small or your fire too hot. It does not take much cooking, just soften the chili. That's all there is to it but it is delicious and nutritious and it will burn the hell out of your mouth.

Version 2.0 - A waiter at El Torrito gave me this version of the recipe and I like it much better.

INGREDIENTS:

1 Dozen serrano chilies
1 large fresh lime
Peanut oil, Canola oil, or Olive oil
Kosher salt

DIRECTIONS:

Wash the serranos but leave the stems intact (you use them as handles when you eat them). If you like, slit them lengthwise along one side so that they don't pop when heated and splatter oil. This will also let them cook more uniformly if you are cooking very large chilies. Pour enough oil into a small frying pan to cover chilies at least halfway, cover them completely if you like. I don't like to waste the oil because I just throw it out after cooking the chilies. Cover the pan to prevent splatters. Cook the chilies for a couple minutes at medium high, don't let the oil smoke but get it close. The chilies cook very quickly. Remove the chilies and place them in a suitable bowl. Cut the lime in half and squeeze the lime over the chilies. Sprinkle kosher salt over the chilies to taste.

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Som tam is really hot and delicious, I highly recomend all Thai food for pepper eaters.

Som Tam
(Makes enough to fry your lips a crispy golden brown)

INGREDIENTS:

8-12 Ounces of green papaya
1 Carrot
4 Large leaves of napa cabbage
4 Tbs of roasted and chopped peanuts
1/2 Fresh lemon
2 Cloves garlic
1 Tsp roasted and ground Thai chili
1 Dozen fresh green Thai Chilies
1 Tomato
1 Tbs fish sauce
1 Tsp soy sauce
2 Tsp sugar

DIRECTIONS:

Squeeze the half lemon into a medium sized mixing bowl. Add 1 Tsp of sugar, 1 Tbs fish sauce and 1 Tsp soy sauce. Put the garlic through a garlic press and mix the ingredients in the bowl until the sugar is dissolved. Use a carrot grater to shred the carrot and the green papaya and add them to the mixing bowl. If you cannot find green papaya (any oriental produce store will have them) you can use finely chopped napa cabbage. Wash and stem the Thai chilies then lay them on a cutting board one at a time. Place the flat of a meat cleaver over the chili and apply pressure the other side of the meat cleaver with your hand. The object is to crush the chili, releasing the flavor and the heat. Slice them lengthwise then put the crushed chilies into the mixing bowl. Mix the ingredients in the bowl thoroughly. Cut each cabbage leaf into quarters and lay the sections on a serving plate. Mound the ingredients from the mixing bowl on the cabbage leaves. Cut the tomato into thin wedges and lay them around the mound of the remaining exposed cabbage leaves. Sprinkle the peanuts and the roasted Thai chili powder over the top of the mound.

This is supposed to be a salad dish that accompanies a Thai food dinner but I usually always make up a plate of this and eat it straight. Dry toast goes good with it. Some people add shrimp to the salad.

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Roasted Thai Chilies are used in almost every Thai food dish, here is how you make them.

Roasted Thai Chilies
(Makes enough to make your taste buds leave home)

INGREDIENTS:

Dried Thai chilies

DIRECTIONS:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Open a quart sized bag of dried Thai chilies and pour onto a cookie sheet. When the oven is hot put the chilies in for 8 minutes. Take them out and turn them after about 4 minutes. They are done when they change color from red to brick-red or darker. It is perfectly OK if some of them get a little blackened looking. You cooking time will vary depending on your stove, the humidity in the air and how dry your chilies are so the time is just an estimate. You go by the color not by the time.

Let them cool in a dry location and toss them into a blender a handful at a time. Run it on medium high until it looks like coarse red powder with seeds. Dump the chili powder into a mesh screen and shake the powder through it into a bowl. Dump the remaining seed and chunks of chili back into the blender and bust it up some more. Continue straining and blending until you start getting too many seed particles in the chili powder. Throw the seeds and remaining chunks away and pour the chili powder into a Tupperware container of an empty margarine tub. Something with a lid on it. You do not need to refrigerate it. You do not want to break the seeds up so be careful. The seeds do not have any hot, they are only hot from where they touched the placenta of the chili, the placenta is where all the hot in a chili is, seeds aren't hot at all. Seed = not hot. Chili 101.

If you prefer, you can stop when the chilies are in ground down to small flakes. Or you can do what I do now: partial coarse powder, partial small flakes, keep the seeds. I don't mind the seeds and all the Thai restaurants I go to keep the seeds in the ground powder. The important thing for me is to make the powder/flakes a size that you can measure accurately or at least consistently for recipes.

A quart Ziploc bag of Thai chilies grind down to a volume that will just fit in one of those Imperial Margarine soft butter tubs, about 1 1/4 cups worth.

This is some really great stuff, I put it on just about everything and it is an ingredient in almost every Thai recipe. Try it out on pizza, you will never go back to that crap Dominoes gives you. Thai chilies are the most delicious of all the chilies. When you roast them they smell like a chocolate cake baking, REALLY! They are much hotter than jalapenos or serranos or chili arbols. A word of warning when working with hot chilies... wash your hands afterwards or wear rubber gloves. We can argue all day about this but the first time you don't do that and rub your eye or take a leak... I win the argument. My first bad experience with this was when I was making up a batch of Gary's Salsa Godzilla a long long time ago in a kitchen far far away. I was chopping up the fresh chilies by hand and later that night I removed my contact lenses. It felt like boiling radioactive battery acid was shot into my eye from a high power black powder blunderbuss that was also loaded with rusty nails and festering dog snot. Man that really hurt. And I still had one lens left to remove so I wound up taking it out with a rubber glove on my hand. That one lens was still hot for several days. I wound up running it through the cleaning cycle a half dozen times. Do a taste test on your finger before jamming it into your eye. If it is hot in your mouth it is way hot in your eye. The same could go, I suppose, for reactor core uranium fuel rods. Do a taste test, if it makes your gums bleed, don't thrust it in your eye. This is common sense to me but to some people you have to spell every thing out.

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This is a traditional Thai condiment, impress your friends with your cosmopolitan, sophisticated and international cuisine. I'm sure they'll mention all of that complimentary garbage as they bash your teeth in with a hammer for making their mouth hurt so badly.

Thai Chilies in Fish Sauce
(makes enough to force the truth out of .05 ACLU lawyers)

INGREDIENTS:

Fresh Thai Chilies
Bottle of Fish Sauce

DIRECTIONS:

Wash and remove the stems from the chilies. Chop the chilies into one eighth to one quarter inch pieces. Put the pieces into a small Tupperware tub or empty margarine tub or bed pan or drool cup or any covered container. Add enough fish sauce to completely cover the chopped chilies. Make em float a little. Keep covered and refrigerated.

That's it! Fast and easy. You now have a fabulous condiment that will spice up your food. This goes great on everything you would normally salt. You will find this on the table of most Thai restaurants, if not, you can ask for it and they will wink knowingly at you. Fish sauce, such as is in this recipe, is a typical ingredient in Thai cooking. It is in almost everything from Som Tam to Phad Thai noodles. What the fricka fracka is "fish sauce"? Sounds gross eh? Well... IT IS! Fish sauce is made from anchovies, they are allowed to ferment in a strong brine solution between layers of palm leaves until disolved, then the solids are strained off leaving a brownish amber liquid. This is not something you want to take brain slamming hits of out of a shot glass but it's great in Thai cooking and gives those foods it's distinctive taste. Fish sauce was introduced into the orient by Roman soldiers!

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If only the WWII French Army had these recipies you never would have seen Nazis marching through the Arch of Triumph!

Franco Bolivian Food
(makes enough to deport a dozen Frenchmen from Bolivia)

A very nice guy, a Frenchman by the name of Michel Friedman, found my chili pepper page while surfing the Internet. He is currently working in Bolivia where he is awash in high test chilies. He was kind enough to send me some of his favorite hot pepper recipes which I have copied and pasted here. This is rather like reading a wacky AltaVista translation which can get pretty humorous (I keep a bookmark to that page in my Humor folder). Trust me Michel is doing a whole hell of a lot better struggling in English than I could EVER do trying to speak French! I have not tried any of these recipes yet but they look very good, I need to get some of these chilies he is talking about first. The "Bird Mouth Chili" sounds very interesting and later correspondence reveals that they are very hot chilies! Thank you Michel!!

Michel's letter:

helo garryy i am french and agronomist ( tropical agronomist) with a speciality in bananas but i do like very hot chili i have my own collection.

some way to prepare chili:

Soybean Chili Sauce

take some small shili ( bird mouth chili) and cooks a little with water, just a boiling time and after cut them and put with agrlic,oregano in soybean juice

Citronade de Chili

in a glass recipient put salt, pepper, garlic , oregano, thyme ,cumin the chili cutted in piece of 2/3 centimeter without pedoncule , put 2 0 3 green lime cutted , put water , after put to boil like to do a conserve during 40 mn in a casserol with water , close after

Chili Mangoes Chutney Sauce

take gren mangoes cut in cubes , chili cutted in small particle , put salt peper garlic thyne oregano and put in a mixter , put lkemon or alcohol vinegar and remix the all misture , put in glass recipient after boil during 40 minutes in a casserol with water and boil 40 minutes

Jwajwah ( queshua and aymara way to eat fresh chili )

In a mixter cut a tomato very ripe, some hot chili , put oregano thyne and salt , mix with a mixer and serve ( you could put also a grenne tomatoes and a sweet gren pepper
++++++++++++++
for prepare meet before the cooking sauce for swine chicken and all the meat and fish like atun mix in a mixer a ripe papaya , salt , lemon juice, thyme oregano a lot of chili put an half volum of fresh boiled water put on the meat or fish 2/3 befoire cooking you could pass to barbecue, or roast you could also put fresh pineapple a little green , orange juice or grape juice
+++++++++++++++++++++
kiss of hells take very samll very hot pepper like bird mouth pepper boil them 3 minutes and after put sugar and honney recook like to arrive to a very compact mixture , put each on a plate and froze it reuperate the mixture that you could use for prepare a swine roastbeef with champignons and vegetable

at your disposition if you want more infos,

Michel Friedman ( frenhc in Bolivia)

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I've been making this stuff for a while now and thought it was time to share it with you. I first had this in a little Southern California Mexican food restraunt a Mexican friend took me to where no English was spoken. There was a small dish of this stuff and I couldn't get enough of it, I kept asking for more. I didn't see it again for about 10 years and this time it was in a grocery store so I got the list of ingredients and the name of the concoction.

Pico De Gallo

(makes enough to cause one serving bowl to hate your guts)

1/2 medium fresh white onion
1/4 bunch fresh cilantro
1 large ripe tomato
12 fresh cerrano chiles

Slice peeled onion and dice into small squares. Rinse cilantro and chop very fine. Slice tomato and dice into small squares. Destem and chop the chilies. Mix ingredients together into a small bowl. Goes great on anything that you want overly oniony and brutally eye watering hot (which for me is about everything), but any Mexican food sings with this sprinkled over it. I scoop it out of the bowl with a tortilla chip like it is salsa. Sometimes a pinch of ground cumin and coriander go nicely into the mix. I have also substituted the white onion for a bunch of green onions with great success but traditionally the ingredients are as listed.

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I really have become quite fond of Thai food. Not only is it delicious and nutritious, it is hot as the deep south of Hell in August while standing in line for heavy water on a 1945 Nagasaki street corner... with your head engulfed in flames... and a pocket full of lava. This is a recipe that is best prepared using Thai chilies. The taste and the fire of them are very important to the experience. You can buy fresh and dried Thai chilies and fish sauce in those small family owned oriental markets. Don't be shy, if you don't know what to look for ask someone, they will be tickled pink that you are into their cuisine. At least that has been my experience.

Broccoli With Cashews & Chili

(Makes enough to cause 1 or 2 of your friends to heap Old Testament curses on you)

1 tablespoon oil
2 garlic cloves, chopped or minced
1 teaspoon crushed roasted Thai chilies
1 cup fresh broccoli florets
6 tablespoons chicken broth (you can substitute a bullion cube dissolved in a cup of water for broth)
1 tablespoon fish sauce
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon sugar
1/3 cup cashew nuts
3-6 fresh Thai chilies

Chop fresh Thai chilies in half and crush each half with the flat of a large knife blade, set to the side. Heat oil in wok or frying pan. Add garlic and fry until golden brown. Add crushed red chili peppers and cashew nuts and stir-fry 2 - 3 minutes. Stir in chicken broth, fish sauce, soy sauce, and sugar and simmer 1 - 2 minutes. Add broccoli and red chilies and simmer 1 - 2 minutes longer.

Serve over rice. Serves 2 - 3.

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In honor of Operation Iraqi, the second largest coalition of nations in world history, and its fight for the freedom of the Iraqi people against a brutal, tyrannical dictator; the House of Wacks unveils it's newest taste sensation, Gary's Shock and Awe Thai Chili Sauce. This is still a work in progress, it took years to perfect my habañero sauce recipe. This recipe is only a month old but it is ready for an unveiling because it is good enough to eat as is. This goes good on anything you like to be heated up. Try this on pizza and you will never go back to those pathetic little pepper packets they provide.

Gary's Shock and Awe Thai Chili Sauce

Version 1.2
(Makes enough to depose 1 brutal dictator)

Shock and Awe

4 ounces distilled or purified water
2 level tablespoons crushed roasted Thai chilies
3 teaspoons red wine vinegar
1 teaspoon Thai fish sauce
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1 medium garlic clove or 1/2 teaspoon powdered garlic

Add the ingredients to a blender and blend on medium until smooth. Stop the blender occasionally and push down the chili sauce that has been splashed onto the side of the blender carafe with a spatula. This will probably take about 5 minutes. When ready it will look just like lava with thick, black, acrid smoke raising from the center and several small huts enveloped in fire around the edges. When fully blended, remove the carafe and hold it between your hands. Swirl the contents against the side of the container to remove all the bubbles. That's all there is to it!

Put this into one of those 5 ounce bottles of store bought pepper sauce such as Tapatio hot sauce. It has a plastic stoppered mouth with a small shaker hole that is a great way to apply this sauce to your food. Just pour the slop that's in it down the drain or use it for eye wash and wash the bottle out. You can reuse the same bottle for years. Once mixed, keep the bottle of sauce refrigerated between uses. If the sauce is too thick once chilled, add more distilled water when there is room. Leave enough room on the refrigerator shelf for your lips and tongue.

If you are using a 10 oz bottle, double the recipe!

NOTE:

Although chemical weapons are outlawed by the Geneva Convention, Gary's Shock and Awe Thai Chili sauce fall into that legal gray-area between "weapon of mass destruction" and" toxic waste". So be careful how you use this stuff, you cannot shoot it out of a cannon without being a war criminal and you cannot flush it down your toilet without a Hasmat permit but you can sure as hell eat it. Of course if you accidentally splash some into the eyes of an Iraqi Republican Guard tank commander while sprinkling some on your taco then... well accidents DO happen and I'm sure the authorities will understand. Just make sure you are standing real close to him because it would be a shame to waste this junk by just melting down his tank.

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Basically this is an equal mixture of Gary's salsa Godzilla Brand Hot Sauce and Gary's Shock and Awe Thai Chili Sauce. This recipe is a natural consequence of having both bottles sitting on the breakfast table at the same time. Each recipe is delicious in it's own right but combining the two is a stunning taste treat that will not only knock your socks off, it will trim your toenails, push the cuticles back and cure that foot fungus that has been bothering you ever since you ran naked through the girl's dorm.

Gary's Chef's Blend
Hot Sauce

Version 1.0
(Makes enough to roast 7 weenies and a bag of marshmallows)

Chef's Blend

INGREDIENTS:

1 Cup distilled water
2 level tablespoons crushed roasted Thai chilies
1/4 Oz. Dried habañero chiles. (This is the size package common in stores)
1/2 Tsp onion powder or the white section of one green onion.
1/2 Tsp sea salt
4-5 medium garlic cloves
1 Tbs red wine vinegar
1 teaspoon Thai fish sauce
1/2 teaspoon sugar


DIRECTIONS:

Add the ingredients to a blender and blend on medium until smooth. Stop the blender occasionally and push down the chili sauce that has been splashed onto the side of the blender carafe with a spatula. This will probably take about 5 minutes. When fully blended, remove the carafe and hold it between your hands. Swirl the contents against the side of the container to remove all the bubbles. That's all there is to it!

Put this into one of those 10 ounce bottles of store bought pepper sauce such as Tapatio hot sauce. It has a plastic stoppered mouth with a small shaker hole that is a great way to apply this sauce to your food. Just pour the store bought swill down the drain and wash the bottle out. You can reuse the same bottle for years. You should have some room left in the bottle, top it off with more distilled water. If the sauce is too thick once chilled, add more distilled water when there is room. Once mixed, keep the bottle of sauce refrigerated between uses. Shake before using.

NOTE:

Remember the movie "Alien" where these numb-nuts on a cargo ship stop to explore a planet where evil rescue signals are emanating from like they were Duck Dodgers instead of oil merchants and some pithed idiot looks down into a slimy gurgling egg that just blossomed open in violation of every movie rule ever published and a face hugger jumps out and claims the guys face as his own to pet and hug and love like George said he could then they take the guy into the infirmary and try to cut the damn thing off but it bleeds molecular acid? Well, this is the stuff they used to burn through 12 decks of tritanium plating with permaceramic shielding and polycarbonite bracing. Use with care, and if you are that lady who spilled coffee in her lap and sued McDonalds... bugger off, you can't handle this.

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This recipe has been 5 years in the making. Although Gary's Shock and Awe was the first solid stop along the way, this is what I was seeking when I thought to make the ultimate hot sauce using Thai chilies. This stuff is so good it makes the demons apologize to the angels. The unforgiven are no longer required to soak in fire and brimstone, Gary's Thai-Talian is punishment enough. Group hug!

Gary's Thai-Talian
Hot Sauce

Version 3.2
(Makes enough to bury one small Roman town in pumace and ash)

INGREDIENTS:

1 Cup distilled water
3 level Tbsp crushed roasted Thai chilies
5 Tsp Red wine vinegar
1 Tsp Balsamic vinegar
1/2 Tsp Dark sesame oil
2 Tsp Extra virgin olive oil
1 Tbsp Soy sauce
2 Tsp Fish sauce
3-4 Large cloves garlic
1/2 Tsp Onion powder
1/2 Tsp Sea salt


DIRECTIONS:

Add the ingredients to a blender and blend on medium until smooth. Stop the blender occasionally and push down the chili sauce that has been splashed onto the side of the blender carafe with a spatula. This will probably take about 5-10 minutes. When fully blended, remove the carafe and hold it between your hands. Swirl the contents against the side of the container to remove all the bubbles. That's all there is to it!

Put this into one of those 10 ounce bottles of store bought pepper sauce such as Tapatio hot sauce. It has a plastic stoppered mouth with a small shaker hole that is a great way to apply this sauce to your food. Just pour the store bought swill down the drain and wash the bottle out. You can reuse the same bottle for years. You should have some room left in the bottle, top it off with more distilled water. If the sauce is too thick once chilled, add more distilled water when there is room. Once mixed, keep the bottle of sauce refrigerated between uses. Shake before using.

NOTE:

This is much more than your typical thin vinegary hot sauce you buy off the store shelf. This sauce was developed over the period of 5 years using careful trial and error, keeping the promising changes and discarding the others. It wasn't until I combined my love of Italian and Thai flavors that I finally hit on a unique and full flavored sauce that is as hot as it is tasty. Pay a little extra and use a fine Balsamic vinegar, it will reward you for your diligence.

(Version 3.2 reduces the sesame oil to 1/2 tsp and the amount of garlic cloves to 3 large)

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This recipe has been 5 years in the making. It was originally designed for Thai chilies (see the Thai-Talian recipe above) but I tried dropping Habañeros in to replace the Thai chilies and it was love at first conflagration. If you like the Gary's Salsa Godzilla Brand Habañero Sauce then you will like this. The unique flavor of the Habañero makes this sauce a distinctive taste treat to add to your refrigerator shelf O punishment and pain.

Hell's Heaven
Gary's
Habañero Hot Sauce

Version 1.0
(Makes enough to burn the Hell out of your mouth for eternity)

INGREDIENTS:

1 Cup distilled water
1/2 ounce dried Habañero chilies
5 Tsp Red wine vinegar
1 Tsp Balsamic vinegar
1/2 Tsp Dark sesame oil
2 Tsp Extra virgin olive oil
1 Tbsp Soy sauce
2 Tsp Fish sauce
3-4 Large cloves garlic
1/2 Tsp Onion powder
1/2 Tsp Sea salt


DIRECTIONS:

Add the ingredients to a blender and blend on medium until smooth. Stop the blender occasionally and push down the chili sauce that has been splashed onto the side of the blender carafe with a spatula. This will probably take about 5-10 minutes. When fully blended, remove the carafe and hold it between your hands. Swirl the contents against the side of the container to remove all the bubbles. That's all there is to it!

Put this into one of those 10 ounce bottles of store bought pepper sauce such as Tapatio hot sauce. It has a plastic stoppered mouth with a small shaker hole that is a great way to apply this sauce to your food. Just pour the store bought swill down the drain and wash the bottle out. You can reuse the same bottle for years. You should have some room left in the bottle, top it off with more distilled water. If the sauce is too thick once chilled, add more distilled water when there is room. Once mixed, keep the bottle of sauce refrigerated between uses. Shake before using.

NOTE:

This is much more than your typical thin vinegary hot sauce you buy off the store shelf. This sauce was developed over the period of 5 years using careful trial and error, keeping the promising changes and discarding the others. It wasn't until I combined my love of Italian and Thai flavors that I finally hit on a unique and full flavored sauce that is as hot as it is tasty. Pay a little extra and use a fine Balsamic vinegar, it will reward you for your diligence.

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