Gary L. Simmons  rev 05/31/04
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Archived News for the Month of May 2004

News of the Day


5-28: Like a dope, I have neglected to revise the JavaScript rollover on the NRA page after Charlton Heston was replaced by Kayne Robinson as President of the NRA. This is fixed as of today. Feel free to admire my handiwork or delve deeper into the informative pages you will find in the NRA section of the Extra department.

5-27: Did I ever tell you about the big bank job I was in on back in the eighties? I was young and reckless and a bit foolhardy in those days with little sense and no regard for my own personal safety or repercussions of such a life style. Yes, I was a computer programmer. Read about this and other indiscretions and look at a little picture I drew on the Contemporary Art page in the Art Portfolio page of the Hobbies department. Or don't. You can don't.

5-26: The NRA archive for the month of May is now uploaded to the NRA Archives. The monthly archive consists of the 3 feature columns from the American Rifleman: The Armed Citizen, Standing Guard, and the Presidents Column. Enjoy.

5-25: For all you Franco-phobic boycotters out there, I have updated the Boycott France page over in the Extra department. There is no new material, you can still boycott them for all the other idiotic stuff they have done in the past, rather this update fixes the damage caused to the graphics on this page by the conversion to HTML 4.01 Transitional standards.

5-24: Team SETI pops the party poppers, throws the streamers and releases the helium balloons as the percentage of users we are ahead of climbs another 3 thousandths of a percent. We owe this tremendous amount of progress to the suppression of Hitler and his Nazi gangsters in the new computer game, Call of Duty. Yes I'm being sarcastic. If Termie would just stop playing the damn game for one day maybe we could make some real progress. Parachute into the Hobbies department and fight your way to the Team SETI page and see for yourself why Hell is cooling as we approach the 98% SETI@home goal line.

5-21: The NRA Members Council offers webmasters a small piece of HTML code to include on your web site, after which your site will automatically have the latest firearms-related legislative information posted. As they update the NRA Members' Council Legislative Page, the information shown on your page automatically appears to change. But, since your site is pulling the information from their site, it is a seamless operation. Each time someone visits your site, your web site accesses for the latest information and displays it on YOUR page. Check it out on the Special Events page in the NRA section of the Extra department.

5-20: The Obed section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox gets an update today with Marathon (on Windows) For Dummies. Joshua Bell weighs in on using the Marathon files from the Mac Action Sack with Aleph One for Windows. This is a pretty complete accounting of how to go about setting up Aleph One but Joshua does not want to take much credit, in fact he won't divulge his email address for questions. Just sacrifice a poly to the polygon gods in his name, that will be reward enough for him.

5-19: In Washington. D.C., it's not the guns but the ban on guns that gives crooks the upper hand. Kayne Robinson, the president of the National Rifle Association, give you the straight poop on who suffers and who benefits from gun bans in the President's Column in the NRA section of the Extra department.

5-18: The last of the Art Portfolio sections, the High School Art page is cleaned up from the damage caused to it by the conversion to HTML 4.01 Transitional standards. Criminy, even fixing thing breaks things around here! It's all going down in the Hobbies department today. Put on your finest snooty art critics duds and prepare to be blown away by REAL art, not this Manet and Picasso crap you see everywhere.

5-17: Pedaling as hard as he can in between bouts of saving the world from the Nazi scourge in the computer game "Call of Duty", Termie has managed to raise the percentage of Team SETI's standing by .001 percent! Incredible if you take into account all the tank battles, the cleaning out of tenacious machine gun nests, and the muddy filth caked trench warfare. Hey, it's starting to sound like a South American election!! You can check out last weeks results over on the Team SETI page in the Hobbies department.

5-13: Today the Contemporary Art page of the Art Portfolio section of the Hobbies department is cleaned up because of all the graphics windows there that were broken when I changed the page to adhere to HTML 4.01 Transitional standards. A couple of graphics had to be resized and most of the windows had to be reconfigured. I don't get enough appreciation around here.

5-12: As oppressive as the eight long years of the Clinton Administration's war against firearm owners' rights were, they will pale in comparison to what Massachusetts Senator John Kerry has in store for us - if he evicts President Bush from the White House in November. Read the gruesome details in the Standing Guard feature at the NRA page in the Extra department.

5-11: The Battle Cat's Litterbox is rocking and rolling and all shook up with news straight from the twisted and churning fault lines of Earthquake Software. I have added a link to Tim Vogel's Marathon intensive Earthquake Software web site down in the links section of the Litterbox. Tim promises "Great textures, sounds and other stuff for Aleph One!". Check it out. Keep him honest.

5-10: Team SETI managed to pull off a 2 thousandths of a percent gain in the brutal blood slinging carnage fest that is the SETI@home competition. Pour a pot of coffee over your head so you can stay awake and slosh on over to the Hobbies department and see for yourself how 4 idiots can turn the mundane into something wonderfully bland.

5-7: There is a new gaming website out there, a place called It advertises itself as a gaming community, gaming directory, online Flash gaming and more such as forums and chat for gamers. Registration is free. We traded links, look for The Battle Cat's Marathon Page in their marathon section. You can find the link to GamesTalks in the Games section of the Lynx page. Check them out, it looks like a fun new online community site for gamers to hang out at.

5-6: When criminals caught in the act are confronted by armed citizens, things do not go as well as they had planned. Whether they are breaking into a house or robbing a store, Plan B usually consists of seeking medical attention or thinking up a quick lie to tell Saint Peter. Read for yourself why it is important to have responsible armed citizens protecting their lives, loved ones and property with a firearm on the Armed Citizen page in the NRA section of the Extra department. By the time police could have arrived, the damage would already have been done and the perpetrators would have long since escaped justice.

5-5: Happy Cinco de Mayo! Today is the traditional day steeped in tradition where where all of Mexico traditionally remembers those of them who went before them and celebrates their forefathers beer drinking with... MORE beer drinking. I'm pretty sure this is what happened, Pancho Villa (or someone) kicked that guy in the bee costume (or someone) out of Machu Picchu (or somewhere) then got drunk. Anyway who cares, that doesn't matter, what matters is that you go out and buy yourself a case of Cervesa and drink yourself blind. Remember to limit your driver to only a six pack. You youngsters have it easy these days, many of the people in your parents time died from swallowing pop tops!

5-4: You may have noticed that the House of Wacks was no longer available at the end of last month. I apologize for that. It is all a matter of bandwidth. Earthlink, my internet provider, allows my account to use up to 1 Gigabyte of bandwidth each month. When more than 1 Gigabytes of graphics and HTML etc. have been downloaded by my visitors Earthlink pulls the plug on my site. The only way around that is to get an upgraded account but I am going to wait until Earthlink DSL is available here before making that change as the very act of switching to DSL will change the addresses you link to me here, as would upgrading my account, so rather than do that to you TWICE, I'll just wait until it is a one time FUBAR. Till then, please pardon my blackouts.

5-3: Thanks to Termie playing No One Lives Forever 2 on the computer this week, the Hobbies department reports that Team SETI has fallen behind 75 competitors but we have still gained .002% in the standing. Sounds screwy but you need to take into consideration that we are automatically ahead of all the new people that join the largest distributed computing project in history. I can guaran-damn-tee you they didn't have anything even approaching this in 1642. Their computers had quill pens and parchment and they often took time away from a project in order to skewer one another with rapiers.


No news on the weekends. As usual, the Team SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages: President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.
Gary's House of Wacks
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