Gary L. Simmons  rev 03/31/04
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Archived News for the Month of March 2004

News of the Day


3-31: The NRA Archive is updated today with the monthly NRA page features: Armed Citizen, Standing Guard, and The President's Column. Each of these features are valuable, information packed columns that you will find extremely helpful and interesting even if you are not a firearms owner yourself. For one, it keeps you apprised of the relative honesty and the intentions of the politicos you vote for. For another, it shows you the value of owning your own firearm for protection, recreation, hobby, business, and because for now anyway... you can. The Archives are available any day of the month from the NRA page in the Extra department, look for the link down at the bottom.

3-30: Jay Faircloth's amazing Marathon artwork has been reorganized onto a new web page. This is well worth looking at if you are into the Bungie computer games Marathon and Halo or just a fan or adherent of digital art, photoshop, and being extremely cool. Check it out on the Battle Cat's Litterbox, look down towards the bottom. Bring your drool cup.

3-29: Because our SETI@home client is no longer able to dial in by itself, our standing is in jeopardy but when we go visit Death Valley ghost towns and cannot be there to dial in for it then we really suffer. We only got 9 units completed in that time so we fell behind 311 smirking, cajoling, wee wee dancing competitors. There is nobody around to bind to the mizzen mast for the lashing so I guess we will just chalk this one up to simple failure. Since I started giving one lash with the cat-o-nine-tails for every competitor we fell behind, Team SETI seems to blend into the scenery on Monday mornings... Why, in MY day we would take the brutal whipping and still do a full days work hauling bricks on our backs. Wimps. Witness our failure in the Hobbies department.

3-22: Because of the problems we've been experiencing with automatically connecting to the Internet to download new units, our SETI@home standings went into the toilet this week. So without any further warning we'll just strap Termette to the mizzen mast and give her 48 brutal blood splattering lashes with the cat-o-nine tails. There, that wasn't so bad was it? ewwww, it WAS pretty bad. Someone put some salt in those welts and apply a vinegar soaked brown paper poultice. She still has her duties to perform and we'll have no slacking because of infections! You can see our pitiful results on the SETI@home page in the Hobbies department.

3-19: I can't help but think that the recent election in Spain, that in essence was a capitulation to terrorists, has encouraged the terrorists with their biggest victory to date. If the Spaniards would have realized that their simple democratic vote would be a death sentence to possibly hundreds of thousands more innocent civilians due to the encouragement they just gave to the terrorists, would they have voted the same way? Citizens of democratic nations... your vote is important to the other nations in the world, think before you vote! I don't normally pontificate, I just had to say something though. It's depressing, go read the Joke of the Weak to help assuage your pain.

3-18: The President's Column in the NRA section of the Extra department is updated today. Each month the president of the NRA, Kane B. Robinson, expresses his opinions on the hot topics of the day concerning attacks on the Second Amendment. It always makes some interesting fact filled reading and today's column is no exception. The title is, "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly". Is your interest piqued?

3-17: Top O th' marnin' to ye and a happy Saint Patrick's day! In honor of the occasion there are 3 Irish jokes over at the Joke of the Weak. My maternal Grandfather was full blooded Irish, well the part that wasn't Guinness was blood anyway. So it's with much fanfare that I spike my corned beef and cabbage with Old Bushmills and spray paint the nearby brown California hills with green beer so it'll be lookin' more like home.

3-16: More news about art at the Battle Cat's Litterbox! Who says I'm a cretan?? The Link to Jay Faircloth's Marathon art is updated. The new link will provide you with a larger collection of the incredible body of Marathon artwork that Jay has created. This is some amazing stuff. If you are a Marathon player, one look at those MADDs this close up and in such startling detail, and you will instinctually find yourself diving behind a bulkhead fumbling for your SPNKR in case it is one of those @#$%^&*! misprogrammed MADDs Durandal sent to "help" you.

3-15: it looks like the Ides of March caught up with 20 of our competitors, they should have been more bewared! What the heck could THEY have been thinking?? I bet they weren't listening to their wives. Team SETI met 'em on the floor of the interstellar senate and we done stuck 'em with our frog stickers! So even struggling with the auto connect, Team SETI still managed to ice a few unaware doofuses... or is that doofi? View the carnage on the Team SETI page over in the Hobbies department. You might want to take a mop with you.

3-12: While we are on the subject of beautiful works of art... here is another prime example of why I washed out of art school. My first inclination was to blame a culturally bankrupt society driven by money obsessed Philistines without a gram of artistic appreciation. But then my first inclination has always been to don the cloak of the teenage drama queen while unfairly blaming others for my own problems. Go witness my shame on the High School Art page in the Art Portfolio section of the Hobbies department. Look for "Surfer 13" at the top.

3-11: Inspired by the brilliant work of Jay Faircloth aka Anaphiel I have finally added an official links section to the Battle Cat's Litterbox. You can find the links in the Litterbox by digging down a little into the litter, it's the nugget with the fur stuck to it down by the bottom marked "Lh'owon Links". Notice I didn't spell it, "L'inks", that's pretty innovative of me eh? Nobody saw that one coming! Anyway, you should check out the Jay Faircloth Desktops link. Jay does the best Marathon art I have ever had the pleasure of rubbing my retina against. His work kicks so much ass there is just not enough ass to go around for the other artists!

3-10: Why is it that liberal democrat politicians have to lie about who they are and what they want? Is it because if you knew what their real goals and motives were you would not want to have much to do with them? Wayne LaPierre has an example of 2nd Amendment hating liberals doing what they do best: obfuscating, misdirecting and outright lying. Read his message in the Standing Guard feature on the NRA section of the Extra department.

3-9: After 2 and a half weeks of incubation, I have some chili sprouts coming up! New to planet Earth, fresh faced and ready to bathe in the sunlight are 5 healthy, bouncing Thai chili seedlings. It is probably not too late for you to start your seeds, I live in an extremely warm climate so I get a tremendous head start on you. Find out all you need to know about cultivating your own chilies in every step of the way from obtaining seeds to preparing mouth searing dishes on the Chili Gardening page in the Chili Peppers section of the Hobbies department.

3-8: Down by 36 competitors, with even more dismal prospects ahead, Team SETI reevaluates it's mission. It seems, SETI@home no longer dials in automatically under the OSX Panther operating system. This leaves us at a huge disadvantage to those who have up to date SETI@home client software that can do that one simple act. Whereas Team SETI would have an average of 18 units a week, we can only muster 13 at best and most likely it will go down to 10 after a full week of operating under Panther. We hear the folding project is looking for a few good men and that they are competitive and responsive in getting out modern software to their participants. Meanwhile, go view the disappointing results at the Team SETI page in the Hobbies department.

3-5: Getting your fair share of laughs or are the blues getting you down? Fight depression now without all those powders, pills, and potions by visiting the Joke of the Weak. Afterwards you can still have a pill and wash it down with a potion but you should read the joke first. Don't read the joke while you are washing down the pill or you will blow potion out your nose. Fair warning courtesy of the House of Wacks.

3-4: Because of the terribly slanted nature of the "news" you only hear about cases where guns are used illegally by criminals or to harm innocent people. You never hear about the multitudes of cases whereby the use of a firearm by a law abiding citizen saved lives or protected the innocent. Studies indicate that firearms are used more than 2 millions times a year for legal personal protection, and that the presence of a firearm, without a shot being fired, prevents crime in most instances. You can read about some of these in the Armed Citizen feature of the NRA page in the Extra department.

3-3: Again, within a weeks time, another link has been added to the Friends section of the Lynx page. Look for the link to Steve Rogers. Gosh I must be popular and normal and people actually like me. You hear that you guys from social services?? You guys from the parole board?? You guys from the sanitarium?? I'M NORMAL!! I HAVE FRIENDS!! ::sob:: ...they like me...

3-2: 88. That's what I said, "88". I'll say it again and this time you watch my lips ... eighty eight. Let's play that back in super slow-mo so you can see the spit flecks arc gracefully through the air and see the vibrating quiver as my lips slam together super slowly. K, pay attention, here goes: e  i  g  h  t  y    e  i  g  h  t. Cool eh? That's how many competitors we smacked down last week in the never ending struggle for numero uno at SETI@home. Check out the Team SETI page in the Hobbies department and get the stats.

3-1: Today's update is consumed with the process of rolling the month over into March. That's a days worth of update right there. The news for February is archived and accessible from the main page. The Joke of the Weak goes to a new month. The Site map is updated and the calendar on the home page is rewritten. Hold onto your pants buckaroos, this month is going to be a bouncy one, I have foreseen it with the Force.


No news on the weekends. As usual, the Team SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages: President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.
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