Gary L. Simmons  rev 02/27/04
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Archived News for the Month of February 2004

News of the Day


2-27: Not a lot to report today. Nothing much except behind the scenes things going on like fixing broken links, some spelling and grammar corrections and other stuff I'm not imaginative enought to lie about. Joke of the Weak is updated. Hey, good news for all you bone dog ugly Sadie Hawkins chicks out there, scrub yer duds in the hog trough and squirsh some red berries on yer lips causin' Sunday is leap day! Wheeeee doggies!

2-26: Marathon is my favorite computer game from way back. When I first got my old HP Deskjet 560 I created a Marathon graphic for it using the tools for it that I had at the time, namely the paint program from ClarisWorks 2.1. I framed the graphic and hung it on my wall. Cut to 7 years later where I have just gotten an Epson CX6400 3-in-1 printer/scanner that prints with near photographic results. Time to upgrade my Marathon graphic! See for yourself the amazing stupidity I show in everyday life and inanely share with you, the Internet public. Check out the Contemporary Art page in the Art Portfolio section of the Hobbies department.

2-25: Today the NRA page has archived it's 3 main features for the month of February. These features include "Armed Citizen", "Standing Guard" and "The President's Column". Click on the link to the archives at any of the aforementioned pages or on the link at the bottom of the NRA page in the Extra department.

2-24: My Icelandic friend who lives on Iceland and has an Icelandic band that is also on Iceland and makes, coincidently, Icelandic songs from Iceland. This is a great garage band in the truest sense of the word, showing real joy and exuberance in their work. I have added a link to an Icelandic website that hosts his MP3's. There are just a couple songs there now but keep checking in. Look for Kviðsvið in the Friends section of the Lynx page.

2-23: Team SETI had a meeting this week, We decided we should refocus the search for extra terrestrial intelligence and start looking for stupid ET's instead. They should be less cunning and easier to find. We should petition SETI@home to redirect their and our energies! WHO'S WITH US?!?!? Hmmm ... silence ... I can tell you want to think about it. OK, check out last week's results on the Team SETI page in the Hobbies department and you can get back to me later on that.

2-20: I was alerted to a cool web site yesterday that has you playing 20 Questions with an online Artificial Intelligence. It's pretty darn good at it too. Simply think of a specific thing such as a computer mouse or a naked mole rat and answer the 20 questions it asks you. You must know your subject well. Giving it wrong answers gives you poor results, giving it accurate answers gives you great results. If you mess up it even tells you where you went wrong! It's a hoot, try it out. Look for the "20 questions" link at the top of the Games section of the Lynx page.

2-19: If you live in Sunset Gardening Zone 19 then you should get your peppers seeded. The chance of a frost hard enough to damage your plants is minimal. I planted Habañeros, Thai, and Bird Mouth chilies last weekend and even then I realized that I was late. I should have planted the seeds two weeks ago at the end of January. By the time they would go into the ground as seedlings the weather would have still been favorable to them. For more information on exactly how to obtain, seed and plant seedlings then you should visit the Chili Pepper Gardening page in the Chili Peppers section of the Hobbies department.

2-18: In the months ahead, as the 2004 elections approach, we're sure to see anti-Second Amendment schemes played as campaign gimmicks. So pay close attention whenever they talk about curbing crime by curtailing your rights. Because their target isn't criminals or safety-it's gun owners, your guns and your freedom. Read more about this in the President's Column in the NRA section of the Extra department.

2-17: The House of Wacks is in turmoil! It seems Team SETI is on the verge of anarchy. This weeks results showed a ZERO SUM gain/loss in the standings! We neither progressed nor lost ground. We fell behind zero competitors last week ... who gets bound to the mizzen mast to get zero lashes with the Cat-O-Nine tails?? Chaos reigns!! Go to the Team SETI page in the Hobbies department and see for yourself why the entire team is running around like one foot is nailed to the floor!

2-16: It is Presidents' Day today. Until 1971, both February 12 and February 22 were observed as federal holidays to honor the birthdays of Abraham Lincoln (Feb. 12) and George Washington (Feb. 22). In 1971 President Richard Nixon proclaimed one single federal holiday, the Presidents' Day, to be observed on the third Monday of February, honoring all past presidents of the United States of America. Have a great day off!

2-13: We here at the House of Wacks would like to take a moment to bite down on a rabbits foot, strap on bandoleers of dried entrail hoodoo talismans, knock on wood, knock on Woody Woodpecker, invoke mama Jamba big medicine Ouija mojo to ward off the evil eye, and wish you all a safe and sane Friday the 13th. Try not to step on any cracks or let them damn black cats chase you under any ladders on the way to the Joke of the Weak.

2-12: Don't you think it outrageous that the First Amendment was written to protect a person's right to criticize his government yet bastardized in modern times to protect NAMBLA's right to teach sexual deviants how to prey on children while at the same time keeping you from commenting on those campaigning for public office? The first amendment has gone 180. What part of "Congress shall make no law" do they not understand? Welcome to "Campaign Finance Reform". To read more on how America is swirling into the toilet of political corruption read the Standing Guard page in the NRA section of the Extra department. Be afraid.

2-11: Not much going on around here today except the Joke of the Weak. In totally unrelated news you should be aware of some bogus news still floating around the wire services even though it has been thoroughly debunked. The American Medical Association has discredited a group of people who claimed to be "doctors". The charlatans were created in a dishonest effort to smear Dr. Atkins of "the Atkins Diet" fame. Turns out the con men were not doctors but were from the extremist hate group PETA, who's "ethics" must only extend to the treatment of animals.

2-10: New in the Chili Facts page in the Chili Pepper section of the Hobbies department is this blurb from an advertising supplement concerning heart health in the February 9th 2004 issue of Newsweek. Researchers are investigating using capsaicin to relieve certain kinds of heart pain. Too bad it doesn't work with the kind of heart pain that rolls around each Valentines Day ... but then come to think of it, it would do many pained heart a world of good to see the prospective lover that spurned them blasted in the face with pepper spray!

2-9: Team SETI had a good week this past 7 days. We skunked 121 competitors in the continuing onslaught of computational carnage. We managed to crank out 20 units as 2 of them were short, sometimes that happens, but rarely twice in a row as it did last week. Our competitors may say that stinks, but then a skunk smells his own hole first. Go see the damage inflicted on those stinkers on the Team SETI page in the Hobbies department.

2-6: I have another France bashing political cartoon for you. I love this junk and I'm guessing you like this stuff too but are to politically correct to admit it for fear all your compassionate, open-minded, big-tent, inclusive, liberal coworkers will hate your freaking guts and ostracize you forever. Here is what you do: put your coat over the monitor then, peeking through the sleeve hole, hit the link to the Boycott France page and click on the Surrender Monkey link in the "Check This Out" box. If you start to giggle just tell them that you are reading a hard hitting online LA Times article about how stupid Bush is and that if they do as you are doing they can see it too. Guaranteed good for a second giggle as you watch them try to see how stupid Bush is.

2-5: For those pants aficionados out there, you are in luck, there in a pants joke over at the Joke of the Weak. What could be funny about pants? Hell what was so funny about Scoobie Doo? I never did get that show, 300 hundred episodes about the exact same thing with the exact same gags. At least here at the House of Wacks, you get some variety with out all the eating, dog scaring, chasing, and mask pulling offing.

02-04: Because of the terribly slanted nature of the "news" you only hear about cases where guns are used illegally by criminals or to harm innocent people. You never hear about the multitudes of cases whereby the use of a firearm by a law abiding citizen saved lives or protected the innocent. Studies indicate that firearms are used more than 2 millions times a year for legal personal protection, and that the presence of a firearm, without a shot being fired, prevents crime in most cases. Read about some of these cases on the Armed Citizen feature in the NRA section of the Extra department.

2-3: Normally Team SETI standing are posted on Mondays but my time was consumed by the monthly roll over. Alright, so we are a day late but a dollar ahead. Team SETI can report a net gain in the SETI@home standings of 41. Not great, but at least we won't be having to hunt down a cowering, sobbing, termite to lash to the mizzen mast. For those of you new to this web site, you won't understand that last sentence. No matter, check the current standings on the Team SETI page in the Hobbies department.

2-2: OK, new month. Today's not going to be any fun for you unless you are a big fan of the Joke of the Weak. All that's been going on around here is rolling the web site over for the new month. That's actually a big job! ::sneep sniff:: I get no appreciation around here. I slave away all day over a hot CPU and you come in (you big ox), grab a joke out of the fridge, plop your fat butt in the Lazy Boy and yell, "Hey what's to read around here?" ohhhhhh boo hoo hoo. At least I have the satisfaction of knowing the timer for the shaped charge in the Lazy Boy is at T minus 7 seconds and counting...


No news on the weekends. As usual, the Team SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages: President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.
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