Gary L. Simmons  rev 12/31/04
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Archived News for the Month of December 2004

News of the Day


12-31: One last joke for you. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

12-30: When all the other web sites are closed for the holidays, the House of Wacks is still delivering jokes.

12-29: The NRA archive for the month of December is now uploaded to the NRA Archives. The monthly archive consists of the 3 feature columns from the American Rifleman: The Armed Citizen, Standing Guard, and the Presidents Column. Enjoy.

12-28: Don't be expecting a lot of stuff to be going on this week. Joke of the Weak will still be updated.

12-27: Cementing our standing at over 98% of the users, Team SETI has made up for all the lead it lost and gained yet more ground giving us our highest standing yet. 157 competitors had to feel the iron fist of Team SETI... a moment of silence for our stupid competitors... OK, enough of those losers. Run to the Hobbies department and pop open the champaign with Termie and the crew.

12-24: The House of Wacks would like to take this opportunity to wish the planet Earth a Merry Christmas. To us Americans, enjoy your federal holiday and take this time to be close your family by visiting them or at least giving them a call. It wouldn't hurt you to stop by a local church and check out the Christmas Eve service, they are free to everyone and it usually involves a lot of good music, good vibes and maybe a cookie or two. This is my favorite holiday, I hope you come to feel the same way too. Happy Belated Birthday Jesus!

12-23: The Infinity page gets prettied up some with a background image. Unless you guys can find some more utilities for it, that's how it stays. You can find other Editors and Utilities at the Battle Cat's Litterbox.

12-22: "In the spirit of the Vintagers, it would be great fun to organize local annual shooting festivals where we bring out those special firearms from our family or that bring back memories from our youth." Read about Kane Robinson's personal experience on the President's Column in the NRA section of the Extra department.

12-21: I found a link on the Fileball forums to a very cool thingy. It is called the Aleph One Player List. Created by Falcon and hopefully soon to find a home at's Marathon hub, this is an interactive online list of folks available for Marathon net play. You sign up with your AIM or iChat name and thereby make yourself available for others to contact for a net game. You can find a link to the current location of the Players List on the Battle Cat's Litterbox down at the bottom in the Lh'owon Links section.

12-20: The big day has arrived for Team SETI. We have surpassed the 98% mark. Team SETI has completed more work units than 98.001% of the SETI@home users! Something odd is going on though because even though we completed a fabulous 20 units last week, we still fell behind 49 places. Methinks some heavyweights have stepped up to crunch data. Ah just as well. Team SETI plans on hanging up its Mickey Mouse like radio antenna eared hats for some meat like protein folding hats after the first of the year. Go see our amazing success over in the Hobbies department.

12-17: I tried to do an update to the House of Wacks for today but yesterday my dumb ol wife was like "Take the water bottles down to the recycle center you worm!" And I was like "yes my sugar plum honey bunch." Then she was like "Get in here and wrap my Christmas presents this minute" and I was like all "Why of course my little love muffin ducky pie". So you see, it's not my fault, I tried. All the time I could scrape together between her foot massages and her scented bath water drawing went to getting you a Joke of the Weak.

12-16: The last of the Marathon Infinity flavored Editors and Utilities go live today in the Battle Cat's litterbox. Yes, there is no shortage of nuggets in the Battle Cat's litterbox... I mean, ugh... look at it... ::gag:: Criminy! I don't see any LITTER in the box any more... it's all just... NUGGETS!! Well, time to sprinkle a little bit of litter over the top of that jiggling tower of heaped up crap and it's good to go for another year!

12-15: What is more "paternalistic" than saying potential victims of violent criminal predators cannot be trusted with the means to exercise a basic right - the right to self preservation? Let Wayne LaPierre answer that for you on the Standing Guard page in the NRA section of the Extra department.

12-14: A broken link was fixed on the Tools and Utilities page in the HAS Editnotes portion of the Anvil Tips section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox. Rather than point to a long gone internet location for ResCompare v2.6, I have pointed the link to my own copy of the freeware title.

12-13: Team SETI dropped 92 places last week turning in a disappointing 17 units and missing our goal of topping the number crunching of 98% of the users. We came in at 97.999 percent!! A gain of 0.001 percent over last week!! It's Termies fault! That little skunk has been playing Duke Nukem 3D Atomic Edition in all his spare moments! That termite better get his act together or I'm calling Terminex! Go see Team SETI's humiliation for yourself over in the Hobbies department.

12-10: Blame the University Christmas party if you will but I didn't get squat done on the web set yesterday. All I've got for you is the Joke of the Weak. Enjoy

12-9: More Marathon for you no-necks in combat boots. 6 more Infinity utilities have been uploaded to the Editors and Utilities section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox!

12-8: Studies indicate that firearms are used more than 2 million times a year for personal protection, and that the presence of a firearm, without a shot being fired, prevents crime in many instances. Read accounts such as these which are condensed from individual newspaper clippings on the Armed Citizen page in the NRA section of the Extra department.

12-7: A new link has been added to the Web Building page. This one is so overdue that it can be considered an oversight. I've been using CSS at the House of Wacks for well over a year but have neglected to put a link to any CSS tutorials. This is remedied as of today.

12-6: It looks like folks have all gone to Mom and Dads for the holidays and turned their computers off because even with crunching only 18 SETI units, Team SETI has still given the iron boot to the butts of 330 competitors putting us within striking distance of the coveted 98% mark. Those boots leave a red mark too let me tell you. Rumor has it that once Team SETI reaches 98%, they will turn their attention to the more humane protein folding project. For now anyway, you can find weekly progress on the Team SETI page in the Hobbles department.

12-3: Another 10 Marathon Infinity files are uploaded to the Editors and Utilities section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox. It sure is nice to have one 500 meg contiguous block of online memory to store this stuff in. This would be extremely difficult to produce and maintain if I were to still be using Earthlink where one is stuck with 8 10 meg blocks of memory, all with different URLs! Ouch. Anyway, go download a Marathon editor and create something that will make us all proud.

12-2: Today's update is a link to a humerous news blog, Scrapple Face. Can you say satire? I knew you could. Their motto is "News fairly unbalanced, we report, you decipher." That's a pretty accurate description of the wackyness they have on their web site. Look for the Scrapple Face link in the Humor section of the Lynx page.

12-1: As usual the month end brings a frenzy of activity here at the House of Wacks as the web wonking slaves are whipped to within an inch of their lives in order to get everything done in one day to roll over the web site into a new month. We had an accident I'm sorry to mention, a slave tripped over one of the many cats that infest the House of Wacks while 30 or so of them were hoisting a multi ton monolith into position. He suddenly let go of the rope causing the rope to slide through all the slaves hands bringing the monolith crashing down to crush them all. I would have had to kill them all anyway because of the rope burns their hands suffered so actually that saved me a little time. We did manage to get a Joke up before the accident. The House of Wacks is looking for new slaves, you can apply by drinking beer in any bar in Shanghai.

No news on the weekends. As usual, the Team SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages: President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.
Gary's House of Wacks
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