Gary L. Simmons  rev 10/31/03
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Archived News for the Month of October 2003

News of the Day


10-31: This bit of nonsense came about in a forum thread about "Marathon: The Movie" written and directed by so and so and how it should go, whether it should be live action, animated or CGI. You know, stuff us dweebish nerds without lives discuss when we should be out on the town rummaging through the clothes of our dates. The Battle Cat thought the Marathon movie should be written by Steven Hillenburg, the guy who does the Spongebob Squarepants cartoon. Teleport over to the Related Marathon Humor section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox to watch the opening scenes of the proposed Marathon 1 movie and see if you don't agree this is a good match of director to movie.

10-30: Noises and puddles. What's this? OMG! A new puppy?!?! Nope, sorry. Noises and puddles are the tutorial topics of Hasturs Workshop in the Forge Tips section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox that are updated today. So rather than barking and whizzing, you have screaming and bleeding courtesy of Grendel. You may direct your disappointment at not getting a puppy to Grendel but then, by doing that, you would be begging for more noises and puddles... if you catch my drift.

10-29: OK, this is no fun for you and no fun for me. Pure housekeeping it is. I've been getting emails from my IP towards the end of the month saying that I've used 75% of my bandwidth for the month. This means I need to start moving stuff over to different accounts to help balance the work load. Today I move all the graphics used by the Web Building department, the busiest department on my website. HTML in one account, graphics in another. ugh. Let me know if you see any missing graphics, if all goes well you won't know I did anything at all.

10-28: Next up for the Hasturs Workshop series of tutorials are the Busted pages. Grendel is waiting for you with a pair of pliers. Grendel is the guy in the news lately who stole the toenails off of a patient in the hospital. Yep, the patient was a visitor to the Battle Cat's Litterbox Forge Tips department who dissed Hasturs hair. Grendel does not like it when Hastur is spoken ill of. Please take care when you visit Hasturs Workshop. This is a public service announcement brought to you by the Battle Cat's Litterbox.

10-27: Check out the Hobbies department where Team SETI slam dunks another 162 competitors through the hoops of life as we dribble down the court of computations in the never ending quest to be numero uno in the vast SETI@home distributed computing project. Out of the 4,728,191 users in the project, we are up to 109,935th place. Not bad for two termites, an old married couple and a single G4 computer. Things will kick into gear when we get the G5 let me tell you.

10-24: Hey it's Friday and you know what that means? Can you smell the cheese? Can you feel those hairy legs flirtingly rub yours under the table? Do you hear the flies buzzing around those unwashed pits? That's right! It's Boycott France day here at the House of Wacks. Woo hooo! Hey watch me type this... Friday's French frying and frog flogging fling, flies furiously from frenzied fingers for fun and frivolity. Weeeeee! Say THAT 10 times in a row. View the new graphic, "911 Eiffel Tower", in the "Check This Out" box near the top of the page. This funny thingy was sent to me by a friend quite a while ago but I misplaced it until now. Extra department, here you come. Hey by the way, is it just me... or are you not caffeinated enough?

10-23: The remainder of the aesthetics tutorials at Hasturs Workshop goes up today, some 6 pages in all. This part of the Forge Tips section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox is from the original Hasturs Workshop posted at the defunct Doubleaught web site long ago. Hastur has given me personal permission to keep the site alive and sent me the site from his backup CD. I have not changed a word of it, but I have had to add some navigational aids since it was taken out of the frames it used to reside in.

10-22: The NRA Archives is updated today. Here you will find a collection of past articles presented on Gary's NRA Page in the Extra department. There is a link to them at the bottom of that page. The articles archives are, "Armed Citizen", "Standing Guard", and "The President's Column". There are links to the archives on each of these pages too.

10-21: Instead of directing you to further Marathon tutorial updates I'll fill this bit of Marathon space with some JavaScript work I did over the weekend. If you have been using the Marathon menu on the home page to access the Forge Tips and the Anvil Tips section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox, you may have noticed that several of the features at those sites were unavailable in the pull down menus on the House of Wacks home page. This has been fixed. This has been broken ever since the new design went into place. Sorry for any inconvenience or incontinence this may have caused you.

10-20: Hey the House of Wacks just passed 300,000 visitors this week. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!?! Anyway, Team SETI is reporting in this morning as having found where those 76 trombones went after the big parade was over. Apparently they are competing with us at SETI@home and this week all 76 of them just got those trombones jammed down their throats by the rowdy interspecies mix of no-necks that is Team SETI. It's happening in the Hobbies department, but if you play a trombone... maybe you should come back later.

10-17: This year I grew Red Savino Habañeros for the first time. Savinos are supposed to be much hotter than ordinary Habañeros which are already the hottest commercially grown chili pepper. On the Chili Pepper page in the Hobbies department I have replaced a picture of the Datil pepper (One I never grew) with a photo of a couple of Savinos so you can get an eyeful of this strikingly beautiful chili. I have yet to taste one as I normally eat them dried and I am in the process now of harvesting and drying my chilies. Trust me, I will let you know what I think of them when I try one.

10-16: I promised Hastur that I would not change the code to Hastur's Workshop when he gave me the web pages to publish on my site. In those days it was appearing in frames making it easy to switch from the Workshop back to the Forge Tips section of the Litterbox which exist on two separate websites. As a part of the renovation of the Battle Cat's Litterbox, I have removed all frames so there arose problems at Hastur's Workshop concerning navigation. I have added navigational aids to the Workshop that comply with the standards of the rest of the Litterbox without breaking my promise not to change the actual content of the tutorials. Updated today is the Acme Station section of Hastur's Workshop.

10-15: NRA is the best organization to ensure that hunters, particularly the most vulnerable in our ranks, have a serious seat at the decision-making table. If you are a hunter, and 20,000,000 of you are, then it will behoove you to join the one organization that has done the most to represent your interests. By joining you strengthen the ranks of Americans that seek to protect your 2nd Amendment right in the way it hits home to you personally, as a hunter. Get the details from Kane B. Robinson on the President's Column in the NRA section of the Extra department.

10-14: The last two Battle Cat's Split Poly Technology tutorials have been converted to HTML 4.01 Transitional and upped to the Forge Tips page in the Marathon section. Look for Split Poly Shadows and Switches & Platforms and get yourself a Marathon education from the cat himself. Bring your own assault rifle.

10-13: Thanks to a record number of 21 units crunched this last week (one unit took only 5 minutes!) Team SETI has more than made up the ground it lost last week. Team SETI member Termie literally snatched the stolen pie right out of the mouths of the smarmy competitors that sucker punched us last week. That's a lot of pie snatching, 415 slices of pie! For those of you reading this while innocently eating honest pie... now would not be a good time, perhaps you should finish your pie elsewhere while Termie's rage wanes, his green fades, and he shrinks back to fit his pants. For the rest of us, it's going down in the Hobbies department.

10-10: Need another reason to boycott France? Abu-Jamal shot officer Faulkner in the back and as the wounded officer lay on the ground, Abu-Jamal stood over him and emptied his gun into Faulkner's face. Now France wants to honor this butcher by making him an honorary citizen! Read all about that outrage and the comments of the slain officer's widow on the Boycott France page in the Extra department.

10-9: I'm almost through with the conversion of the Battle Cat's Split Poly Technology tutorials to HTML 4.01 Transitional. Up today are Bridges and Platforms. If you are a Marathon wonk you will want to head on over to the Forge Tips page and check it out.

10-8: "The liberties of our country, the freedom of our civil constitution are worth defending... . We have received them as a fair inheritance from our worthy ancestors: they purchased them for us with toil and danger and expense of treasure and blood... ." - Samuel Adams 1771
Freedom is never free. Read the Standing Guard page in the NRA section of the Extra department and see what you can do to help protect the Bill of Rights.

10-7: More of the Battle Cat's Split Poly Technology tutorials goes live today in the Forge Tips section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox. If such things interest you, check out the updated tutorials Windows, and Ledges and Low Walls. Up until this technique was developed, what you see on these pages was totally impossible to do in Marathon, but you never tell a cat it can't do something or it will do it just to watch your face go ballistic.

10-6: In a stunning setback that has Team SETI in sackcloth and ashes, our undisturbed march to first place in the SETI@home standings is knocked on its ear. Because of a one-two punch of system maintenance downtime and some idiot (who will remain unnamed because there is no way I'm going to get myself in trouble... D'OH!) forgetting to re launch SETI@home after playing a game, only 15 units were processed this week. As a result, 88 slimy, unworthy competitors regained their lead on us. Read the traumatic stats yourself on the Team SETI page in the Hobbies department.

10-3: Hey did you ever want to do something that was lots of fun but was one of those things that make you go blind? Who is snickering? Little Johnny, perhaps you would like to come to the front of the class and tell us all what is so funny? No? OK, then be quiet. Today we will learn about stereoscopes. This is a device that uses two slightly different photos of the same scene to give the illusion of a 3D image. I have created a couple of stereoscopic images on the Contemporary Art page and give you instructions on how to view them without a stereoscope. This is going down in the Art Portfolio section of the Hobbies department. Look for "Stereoscope" at the bottom of the page.

10-02: Today the Battle Cat's own Forge Tips section, the Battle Cat's Split Poly Technology tutorials gets converted to HTML 4.01. Included is the Split Poly Technique page, Light Walls, and Ladders. It's all going down at the Battle Cat's Litterbox. Bring your own scooper.

10-01: Welcome to October 1, today is the first day of the rest of your month. Home invaders, burglars, robbers and car jackers just might have that month cut a little short. You see, not all their victims are helpless fodder. If their lives are threatened, some victims will lawfully defend themselves and their families with a firearm. You can read about some of these brave citizens in newspaper accounts in the Armed Citizen page in the NRA section of the Extra department.

No news on the weekends. As usual, the Team SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages: President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.
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