Gary L. Simmons  rev 11/28/03
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Archived News for the Month of November 2003

News of the Day


11-28: Burp! Hey you know, after oinking out yesterday but getting too full too fast I got to thinking it's about time we bring Roman vomitoriums back into vogue. What say? While you ponder that, I'm going over to the Joke of the Weak and have a chuckle.

11-27: HAPPY THANKSGIVING! I'm thankful that the House of Wacks gets so many visitors that Earthlink notifies me every month that I have used up 75% of my allotted bandwidth... well I'm thankful for that and my health, home, cats, and friends... well unless they poop on the rug... the friends I mean, the cat's are house trained. The Joke of the Weak is updated today.

11-26: The NRA Archive is updated today. In the archive you will find last months feature articles including: Armed Citizen, Standing Guard, and The President's Column all on the same page. Catch up on these words of wisdom if you missed them the first time around. You can find a link to the archives on each of the above mentioned web pages, or on the main NRA page in the Extra department.

11-25: Chris Komarnicki Killing Time Tutorials is on today's House of Wacks menu. Chris invites you to choke on a mouthful of exploding walls and landing spaceships. You will probably not want to use your good teeth, not on wall debris, so I'll wait while you fetch your Walmart teeth and put em in... done? OK, go sink your teeth into these great tutorials in the Forge Tips section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox.

11-24: Termie showed the door to 154. They tried to compete but just got beat.
Look out for the termite, you're in for a big fight. His team is so freaking fast, your wig spins when you are passed. Kicked something something, something something licked. Look out Longfellow! Check out the new stats on the Team SETI page of the Hobbies department.

11-21: Today is Friday and you guessed it, it's frog bashing day! Today's French tickler is a photo of a savvy lady saying what needs to be said, "If you won't help just get the hell out of the way and let's let history sort it all out". This and more sagely tomes on the Boycott France page in the Extra department. Just look for the "New" sticker in the "Check This Out" box.

11-20: Once more and this time with feeling. Chris Komarnicki Killing Time Tutorials is updated today in the Forge Tips section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox. Converted and ready to go are the Swinging Doors and Smashing Windows tutorials. I'm not sure what is going on there, possibly building windows too close to swinging doors is not such a great idea. What IS a great idea however is coaxing Marathon to swing a door and to smash a window. If you are a Forge wonk, this is cranial candy just for you.

11-19: American women don't want bureaucrats and politicians to dictate what they may and may not do to protect themselves and their families. They don't want to be told "you're not safe enough" or "you're not responsible enough" or "you have to get our permission first" to exercise the fundamental human right of self-preservation. They don't want to depend on overtaxed, under funded police, fire and emergency services to protect them. Visit the President's Column in the NRA section of the Extra department to learn more.

11-18: Back to Chris Komarnicki Killing Time Tutorials. You know, a lot of people have asked me how to pronounce his name. It's really quite simple, here is it phonetically: Ka-ris. Can you say Chris? I knew you could. Today his Moving Vehicles and Sliding doors tutorials are updated and live. Check it out in the Forge Tips section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox.

11-17: Team SETI crawled out of it's fever wracked sickbeds last week and armed only with bedpans, whanged back 207 quacks disguised as competitors in the relentless grinding of numbers known as SETI@home. No we are not delirious, there ARE spork monkeys in my hair and YOU are blind if you do not see all the colored polka dots crawling over everything like inch worms. Check it out in the Hobbies department. Or don't.

11-14: Not much today. The Joke of the Weak is updated. Enjoy.

11-13: Taint' sick a bit. Next up on the block for conversion to HTML 4.01 Transitional is the Chris Komarnicki Killing Time Tutorials. As well as being converted, it is also removed from its former frames meaning that it has a new navigation protocol and a look that ties it in with the rest of the web site. Today, the index page and the Realistic Contrails page is live. Look for more next week in the Forge Tips section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox.

11-12: Now I'm only sick as a mouse. If Americans and the U.S. Congress needed overwhelming proof of the corruption of the judicial system by greedy trial lawyers, New York Federal Judge Jack B. Weinstein proved a poster-boy for reform to end the evils of endless malicious tort claims. Read all about it on the Standing Guard page in the NRA section of the Extra department.

11-11: I'm only sick as a cat today. I should be back to OKness tomorrow. Until then you have the Joke of the Weak. The House of Wacks salutes the veterans of the United States of America! If it wasn't for you guys, our nation would not exist. Everything we know and love and cherish including our unique American freedoms would be ground down under the heel of some tin plated dictator. This and a shout out to Americans currently serving their country.

11-10: Pardon my brevity, but I'm sick as a dog today. Team SETI is updated today. We gained 112 places last week.

11-7: You know those tiny colorful images you see everywhere go? Quit drinking and that problem will stop, as will waking up next to 70 year old barflies with inch thick makeup melting off their faces. Rather, what I'm talking about here are favicons, the custom browser icons that appear in URL location boxes, favorites menus, and tabs. Learn how to create your own favicons from scratch in the Web Building department.

11-6: Okie dokie smoky, the last of Hastur's Workshop is up and ready to go. This is very good news for me because updating Hastur is like getting a pill down a cat's throat. It can be done but it would be helpful if you could just load the pill into a shotgun and administer it directly to the brain in a ball of flame and a cloud of cordite smoke. It's all transpiring in the Forge Tips section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox.

11-5: Studies indicate that firearms are used more than 2 million times a year for personal protection, and that the presence of a firearm, without a shot being fired, prevents crime in many instances. The Armed Citizen feature of the NRA page is a collection of newspaper accounts documenting just such usage of firearms by ordinary folks like you and I.

11-04: Just about done with Hastur's Workshop in the Forge Tips section of the Battle Cat's Litterbox. The section on Spaces goes up today. Be there or be spaced out. Hastur's Workshop is the web site originally created by Doubleaught, the company that created Marathon Infinity and has excellent tutorials on how to squeeze all the juice you can out of Forge. The copy presented here is straight off the backup CD of one of the creators of the site with the exception of the addition of the Litterbox navagation tools.

11-3: Of the 166 SETI@home competitors that we whacked this week, 83 of them saw us coming and jumped out of the way. 20 fell on their swords and 20 more bit into their hollow cyanide teeth. A solid 30 went down slugging and 10 more expired while wielding their slide rulers like light sabers. 2 never saw the foot until the print was imbedded an inch deep into their chests and the last one... well the last one Termie just jammed his finger into the last ones eye and that's where we left off this weeks Team SETI number crunching. The computational carnage is yours to view in the Hobbies department.


No news on the weekends. As usual, the Team SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages: President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.
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