Gary L. Simmons  rev 05/30/2003
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Archived News for the Month of May 2003

New this Week:

5-30: Nothing today except the Joke of the Weak. I was very busy trying to finish up the HTML and JavaScript for the new home page that debuts June second. You are invited to come around next Monday and rubberneck. Lots of new technology is being added in order to make navigation and information gathering easer and more intuitive. Plus it just makes it look cool!

5-29: Hey, I found another great Internet rumor site that helps shed light on some of the misinformation and urban myths that are flooding the Internet. I checked it out with some of the things I know to be true and as far as I can tell, I think they are being honest. Check out Truth or Fiction dot com in the Information section of the Lynx page.

5-28: I did another Marathon Comic. You really have to be a Marathon guy to understand this one. If you want to go look at the pretty pictures then be my guest. It is in two places because it fits two subjects. Look on the Contemporary Art page in the Art Portfolio section of the Hobbies page and in the Related Humor section of the Marathon department.

5-27: 252 SETI crunchers were sucker punched by Team SETI and are now just a layin' on the floor in a daze swallowing their teeth. Yep 252 of em. You can see the blow by blow action at the SETI Page in the Hobbies department.

5-26: The House of Wacks offers a special thanks to the men and women of the Armed Forces of the United States of America who gave their lives for the sake of their country. For we the living, enjoy your Memorial Day off folks, it's been paid for in blood.

5-23: French ambassador to Britain, Daniel Bernard is an anti-Semite. The Jewish website Mesora is calling for a boycott of France until they remove him from office. You can go there and sign a petition to have him removed. At least read the moving article by Ed Koch on the Mesora page. Look for the links on the Boycott France! page in the Extra department.

5-22: A new graphic is added to the Contemporary page in the Art Portfolio section of the Hobbies department. It is a comic strip I created in honor of my favorite computer game of all time, Marathon. Check it out, even if you don't play the game, the humor will still speak to you. Also because this is strictly Marathon related, you can find the Marathon Comics on the Related Marathon Humor page, down at the bottom.

5-21: Gary's Shock And Awe Thai Chili Sauce gets what may be a final tweak in the not so super secret recipe. I can't think of any way to make this stuff better, you have to taste it to believe it. Head over to the Recipes page in the Chili Peppers section of the Hobbies department but you should stash your tongue in the freezer beforehand just to be safe.

5:20: Hey check out what I did this weekend on another of my web pages. The Battle Cat's Litterbox got a big update including Flash buttons and new content and pages. This was my first effort into flexing my new muscle with Dreamweaver MX. Coming soon is an even more ambitious effort to replace this home page you are reading now. That will be a effort combining the power of Fireworks MX and Dreamweaver MX.

5-19: Picture a bridge consisting of 139 rabble stretched across a chasm, each pathetic minion holding desperately to the ankles of the minion ahead of him. Now picture Team SETI striding across that bridge with confidence and purpose. You just envisioned last week as Team SETI continued it's surge to the number one spot in the Crunchers Hall of Fame. It is happening NOW on the SETI Page in the Hobbies department.

5-16: The NRA Archives are updated today to represent this past months material for the articles, "Armed Citizen", "Standing Guard", and "The President's Column". You may find a link to the archives directly off the NRA Page in the Extra department or on any of the current articles listed above.

5-15: Today the resume in the Resume department gets an update to reflect the new software I got this month, Dreamweaver MX and Fireworks MX. Look forward to a new home page in the coming month.

5-14: OK this is no fun for you but if it makes you feel any better, it is no fun for me either. I ran some tests on the House of Wacks and found lots of broken links, redundant tags and nested tags that could be combined. These things are shotgunned throughout the site and consist of 30 odd pages here and there. Go read the joke, maybe boycott France a little.

5-13: Charlton Heston gives his farewell message to the 2003 annual Meeting of Members in Orlando, Florida. I'm going to miss this guy, he was an inspirational freedom fighter, a one in a billion guy. He put his "money where his mouth was" in that he did the things he preached about. Anyway, you can read it in the President's Column in the NRA section of the Extra department.

5-12: In a light-hearted, peaceful week of loving our fellow man and "just getting along", Team SETI only terminally throat punched 266 competitors in the blood drenched struggle to claw our way to the top of the SETI@home heap. See for yourself the angst of the fallen in the SETI@home page of the Hobbies department.

5-9: Just when you thought it was safe for your tongue to go back into your mouth, Gary's Shock and Awe Thai Chili Sauce goes to version 1.2! Now more savory than ever, this sauce matures into an elemental force of it's own, one to rival: earth, wind, fire or water. For those more timid among you, you will want to gargle candle wax before you head over to the Recipes page in the Chili Pepper section of the Hobbies department.

5-8: Anti gun zealots rail against Congress opposing any legislative tort reforms to stop junk litigation because such unfairly punitive litigation suits their own twisted agenda no matter who it hurts. Read more about this stupidity on the Standing Guard page in the NRA section of the Extra department.

5-7: Are you boycotting France hard enough? Fox News reported yesterday the The CIA has confirmed that France issued visas to top Iraqi officials after the war started. While you are there expressing your righteous outrage, check out the new French Army Knife, there is a link for it just under the boycott picture. It is all happening in the Boycott France page in the Extra department.

5-6: Check out the Armed Citizen page in the NRA section of the Extra department. This page features newspaper accounts of law abiding citizens using firearms to protect the lives and property of themselves and their loved ones.

5-5: In a draconian gesture, Team SETI shot down 415 weaker competitors in the life and death struggle to become the number one data cruncher for SETI@home. Laugh with us as we mock our fallen enemies and leer at their women. This is all happening in the Hobbies department.

5-2: For all of you pepper people out there, I have my chilies in the ground now. Just a heads up from someone who lives in zone 9 from the Sunset Western Garden Book. I am ahead of much of the rest of the country, but you should think of getting your seeds started... SOON! Visit the Gardening page in the Chili Pepper section of the Hobbies department for details.

5-1: May day! Out with the old month and in with the new. Today was a day of archiving, moving and renaming for the new month.

As usual, the Joke of the Weak is updated every weekday by 8AM PST and the SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.

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