Gary L. Simmons  rev 07/31/03
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Archived News for the Month of July

News of the Day

7-31: The Related Humor section of the Marathon department is updated today. Freshly scrubbed to conform to HTML 4.01 Trasitional standards are: Recipe For a Good Pfhor, Gorbal Daking Film, The Duality Review, and Marathon's Dirty Little Secret. Next week should finish off the Related Humor section as far as validation goes. As always, if you find any broken links during this huge conversion project please let me know.

7-30: A visitor to the Chili Pepper pages, K. Furey AKA Inferno-lips (or as they are known by their significant other: "Infernal-lips"), sent me a new anagram for H.A.B.A.N.E.R.O. to add to my Chili Pepper Humor page in the Chili Pepper section of the Hobbies department. You are welcome to send me your stark, blinding habanero revelations too. Don't be like this person who obviously waited until their head exploded, send yours in right away. Look for the "Habanero Anagrams" link at the top of the page. Oh... then click on it.

7-29: Be forewarned that the Related Humor section of the Marathon department is in major flux this week and the first half of next as page after page of it is dismantled and recreated out of it's old frames into new individual pages. Today the main index page for the Related Humor section is live as well as four sub-pages: the subversive MaraMag Article, the horror of the PC Hell Hole, sucky Beta Testing, and the infamous 10 Gal. Butt Plug.

7-28: Ahhhhh... the musical sound of 238 chins hitting the dusty bar room floor. If I were Roy Rogers, the west would have been won, my knuckles would have been sore and swollen and my hat wouldn't have fallen off during the fracas. But these weren't Dirty Dan's gun slingin' Bar-7 ranch hands, they were competitors in the SETI@home standings and that 238 is the number of them that Team SETI has advanced past in the last week of data crunching. Mosey on over to the Team SETI page in the Hobbies department, tip your 10 gallon hat, and say "Boy howdy" to this weeks SETI stats.

7-25: The House of Wacks has hit another milestone this week. We have reached a quarter of a million visitors! I want to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to stop by and visit with us. For a personal web page, this has far exceeded my expectations and it is a very gratifying and rewarding experience for me. The movie script that read, "If you build it they will come" has now evolved into "If you come I will build it". Your emails participating in the activities are much valued. Again, thank you all very much.

7-24: The Marathon HTML 4.01 Transitional validation juggernaut rolls on, crushing obsolete code beneath it's 777 gigawatt antigravity plates. Smashed into shape today is the Hell Hole Contest page, the Weird Science feature, the Skelping section and the Origins page. For a continuous update of what is new in the Marathon department, keep checking the Battle Cat's Litterbox for timely updates.

7-23: Junes NRA page articles hit the Archive newsstands. Included in the months archives are the following monthly feature columns: Armed Citizen, Standing Guard, and The President's Column. You can jump straight to the Archives or you can navigate to the NRA page in the Extra department. The Archives are available every day from the link at the bottom of the NRA page. If you are a gun owner or a supporter of American freedoms in general, you will find these articles fascinating reading.

7-22: More of the huge Marathon department is, re coded, standardized, glamorized and validated to HTML 4.01 Transitional standards. The pages put up today are Bastard Child, D-Day, the Battle Cat's World Tour, and the X-Crement files. Enjoy, you Marathoners. It's all going down at the Battle Cat's Litterbox.

7-21: Team SETI got in a little more crunch time this week, processing 18 units of data. It really helps when I scale back on playing those dang computer games. At least I have single handedly saved the world from the Nazi world domination in Return to Castle Wolfenstein not to mention preventing H.A.R.M. form extorting billions of dollars and the continent Australia in No One Lives Forever. So it's not like it was totally screwing off. A-Hrrrrrmmmm... Back to reality, Team SETI smacked down 370 competitors while rising in the ranks of SETI@home. Check it out on the Team SETI page in the Hobbies department.

7-18: I quit eating my favorite salad dressing, Roquefort dressing. I quit using Nivea, one of the few things to bring me relief from a persistent rash. I have my eye on the other French products and services to avoid. I am making a difference. My small voice is added with millions of other small voices to produce a shout that can be heard on the other side of the world. The American grassroots boycott of France is having an effect, a profound effect on a French economy that was already perched on the edge of an economic dumpster like a starving rat. Read all about it on the Boycott France! page in the Extra department.

7-17: The Largest section of the House of Wacks gets the HTML 4.01 Transitional validation treatment starting today. This is going to be a long involved conversion process which extends to removing the entire department from it's frames. Because the Marathon department was built within frames the navigation system in it depends on frames so until the validation process is complete you will be experiencing some problems getting around in the Marathon department. Please be patient. Converted today is the main page and the entire Hell Hole series.

7-16: Americans won't be shut out of the political process. We fought for that freedom two centuries ago. Generations of Americans have given their lives for that liberty since then. If Americans didn't have the right and the resolve to speak out against overreaching politicians, we never would have rebelled against King George in 1776. And whether we have to go to the Supreme Court, the election polls, or to protests in the street, the American people will not be silenced. Not now. Not ever. Read the President's Column in the NRA section of the Extra Department.

7-15: It is the Site Map's turn to step into the twenty-first century as it get's it's share of the attention and is validated to HTML 4.01 Transitional. This is a long involved process folks and like I told you early on, this is going to be taking quite a while. I've yet to even start upping the pages to the largest section of the House of Wacks, the Marathon department. So put your feet up and better start nursing that beer.

7-14: 204. Say it, "Two hundred and four". That is the population of a thriving Greek bronze age village, that is until the tyrant Kypselos of Corinth rides through leaving them all to drain their blood into the thirsty Mediterranean soil. In like fashion, only without actually having to obliterate a village, Team SETI sweeps through the population of SETI crunchers, leaving 204 competitors headless and Hades bound. Oh the carnage! Check it out on the Team SETI page in the Hobbies department.

7-11: No I'm not here to foist my incense laden elephant gods and lime Slushys on you, that's just the date. But if you want, you can give me money and I'll give you a lottery ticket. Your chances of winning will be the same... statistically nonexistent. Now I forgot what I was doing. OH! I remember now. Wait, I've got an itch... ahhhhh. ::OK Gary stall for time stall for time:: ummm... How about those Forty-Niners? OK this looks like about the right size blurb for a news item: The Web Building page is updated with a link to a site that will allow you to create 3D text online for your web page.

7-10: The Resume department is next in line for the HTML 4.01 validation process. Included with the resume and cover letter is a zipped copy of them both that you can download. If you have a PC I would appreciate someone testing to see if you can successfully download, unzip and read the contents of those two compressed files on a Windows platform. That is understandably hard to test on a Mac.

7-9: "Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech." How does this jive with so called Campaign Finance Reform? Leave it to liberals to turn the Clinton Administration outrageously and illegally accepting campaign contributions from China into yet another attack on the basic freedoms of Americans! Freedom of speech now means you can float a crucifix in urine and display it as "art" but you can't speak out about politics come election time! That is so twisted and contrary to what was intended by the Founding Fathers it isn't funny, it is downright frightening. Stalin, Lenin, Hitler, Mao, Mussolini, Saddam, and every other freedom hating tin plated dictator to empale a head on a pike would have passed the same law. Read Standing Guard in the NRA section of the Extra department.

7-8: I should have done this when I added the Truly Odd Girl link last Friday but I was pressed for time plus 2 other lies I'll leave out because I'm not only too lazy to have combined the two updates, I'm also too lazy to BS you about it. So with no further fanfare, I present to you the re-coded and HTML 4.01 validated Lynx page. Hey, if any of these links ever die, you WILL tell me about it right? Don't be lazy like me.

7-7: Happy Bungie Day! YAAAAY! 7-7 is Bungie Day and amazingly the CPU crunching time per unit this week is 7 hours and 7 minutes. Coincidence or conspiracy?!?!? Coincidence... I think not! Regardless, this leapfrogs us over 140 of our inferior asleep-at-the-wheel competitors while still affording me an ample measure of computer gaming, web authoring, Internet surfing, email correspondence and other computer activities. For all the gory details of this weeks SETI crunching, head over to the Team SETI page in the Hobbies department and get yourself calibrated.

7-4: I hope you are all having a patriotic Fourth of July today. Remember safe and sane fireworks are for woosies, drag out the unsafe and insane fireworks and singe every hair off your face! But do it far away from me. I just want to read about it, not suffer through it with you. Today our update is in honor of a truly odd girl, a friend for years, this punkette has changed and relocated her web site. Look for the Truly Odd Girl link in the Friends section of the Lynx department. If you are an Elf with a rope and a big burlap bag, I'll tell you where she's hiding for 5 bucks and some green felt. Don't try to figure that out folks, only a truly odd girl would get it.

7-3: The Chili Pepper pages get their turn at HTML 4.01 validation. YES!! View the pages they don't want you to see, read the recipes they don't want you to know, enjoy the jokes they don't want you to laugh at! Who are "they" you ask? They are most likely your friends and family who don't want you to keep offering that freakin lava sauce to them all the time or to eat it in front of them with your neck sweating and your nose running and your eyes watering. Sorta can't blame them. Anyway it's going on in the Hobbies department. Enjoy.

7-02: Dialing 9-1-1 does not bring instant police protection. Even leaving the house and hiding in the garage may only be a temporary solution to a problem that insists on happening to you, in this case a burglar merrily plying his evil trade. The solution turned out to be a pistol trained on the criminal by an armed citizen until the police FINALLY arrived. Not the cops fault that it takes time to respond to a call, but it certainly is to the credit of the home owner and the Second Amendment of the United States Constitution that she could defend her life and her property while she waited for assistance from the authorities. Read about hers and others heroics in the Armed Citizen feature in the NRA section of the Extra Department.

7-01: The beginning of the month starts off with a new and improved Joke of the Weak department. It is mostly converted over to HTML 4.01 but there are some things about frames I can't figure out. It seems that Dreamweaver wants to create them in such and such a way but it turns around and complains about it's own work when it validates itself. I did what I could and regardless of how pure the HTML is, it still looks good and if I ever figure it out I'll finish the conversion.

No news on the weekends. As usual, the Team SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages: President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.
Gary's House of Wacks
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