Gary L. Simmons  rev 04/30/2003
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Archived News for the Month of April 2003

New this Week:

4-30: The Contemporary Art page in the Art Portfolio section of the Hobbies department is updated today. Featured is an old MacPaint graphic that I created to use as stationary for a nice little old lady. Look of Brownie Border down at the bottom of the page.

4-29: YAY! The Boycott France page in the Extra department just picked up another reason to justify the boycott, French anti-Semitism! In the last 18 months there have been over 400 hate crimes against Jewish targets in France including, in recent days, arson attacks against synagogues, Jewish institutions, beatings of Jewish school children and pedestrians and other acts of threats and intimidation. That is some skanky stuff. A Jewish "boycott France" site, has been added to the list of boycott resource links.

4-28: 387 hapless competitors, unable to keep up with a 1Ghz Mac running a UNIX app, were pushed in the face by the iron glove of Team SETI. "Give no quarter, show no mercy" is our motto as we wade through the bodies towards the number 1 position. Check it out on the Team SETI page in the Hobbies department.

4-25: I forgot to add the Boycott France! link to the Site Map department. I am correcting that oversite today. The Site Map page is a good place to visit to get an overview of the majority of the site as well as a way to sneak past the frames that are used in some of the departments.

4-24: A new stupid picture get put up on the High School Art page in the Art Portfolio section of the Hobbies department. It was drawn in my adolescent period but in my first days of High School so that explains the crudeness of it. That and my lack of talent. It is a picture of a Hawaiian tourist who is destroying the surfing environment with all his touristy-ness. This is actually a picture of my doofus brother, drawn from life. May he roast in hodad hell.

4-23: I've done a little smoothing of the data on the Boycott France page in the Extra department. I also added a link to Sasha & Andrew's Roundtable, an interesting forum thread about boycotting France.

4-22: I've got a new link for you on the Lynx page. Check out "I love the information minister dot com". This is a really funny jab at that poor slob assigned to blow smoke for Iraq. You know, "Saddam controls all of Baghdad from a Gundam in orbit around Uranus!", THAT guy. Very funny stuff, even reading his own words accurately quoted and all written down in one place is a scream all by itself. Look for it in the Humor section of the Lynx page.

4-21: 288 fellow number crunchers felt Team SETI's wrath last week as our enemies fell before us in our triumphant march to first place in the standings. Witness our fury on the SETI page in the Hobbies department.

4-18: Join the House of Wacks in the grassroots effort to strike back at France's anti-American rhetoric and punish them for their bad behavior. Introducing a new section to the Extra department, the Boycott France page. Here you will find resources to help you in your white-knuckled boycott; from French companies and products to information regarding further abuses by the French and links to sites to help you in your quest.

4-17: The NRA Archives has been updated with the March NRA Page articles. Go, read, feel the burn!

4-16: The label I use for my Shock and Awe Thai Chili Sauce bottles is now accompanying it's recipe on the Recipies page in the Chili Pepper section of the Hobbies department. Feel free to print it out and put it on the 5 oz. bottle when you brew up a batch of this lava like mouth mangling hot sauce.

4-15: The Extra department gets an update today. Charlton Heston speaks in the NRA section about the incredible absurdness of the rabid anti-gunners and their attempt to outlaw toy guns because criminal are spray painting them black and using them in "armed" robberies! Never mind that robberies are already outlawed, never mind that nobody ever killed anybody with a squirt gun. All you really need is to be a red faced, white knuckled, liberal, Bill of Rights hate monger and you will understand completely. Laugh at their draconian foolishness as they steal toys from hands of crying children in the President's Column.

4-14: Team SETI has crunched a record 19 units last week and in the process has ground it's steel heel of oppression into the cowering faces of our 119 of our data crunching competitors. Check it out in the Hobbies department.

4-11: This is a "Why didn't I think of doing this before" sorta thing. I have homemade labels that I put on my 5 ounce bottles of hot sauce. They were created by and are stored in a computer, why not have them displayed with the recipe they represent on my web page? No reason why not, other than I just hadn't thunked of it till now. So check out the label for Gary's Salsa Godzilla brand Habanero Sauce on the Recipes page in the Chili Peppers section of the Hobbies department.

4-10: Read about how greedy fat cat lawyers and big-city mayors are trying to crush the Bill of Rights by literally taking the law into their own hands and trying to circumnavigate the Constitution because Congress won't. It's ugly, it's scary, and you are next if they don't like you. Check it out on the Standing Guard page of the NRA section of the Extra department.

4-9: A visitor to the Web Building page was having trouble with the JavaScript Popup Window tutorial. He emailed me his code to see what he had done wrong and I had to laugh. The pathetic FOOL did exactly what I told him to do in the tutorial! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! When will they realize I'm a moron? So anyway, I fixed the tutorial so it is no longer a frustrating pile of poop, and that goes live today.

4-8: Read about ordinary, law abiding citizens using firearms to protect themselves and their families on the Armed Citizen page in the NRA section of the Extra department.

4-7: Seti@home has linked to Team SETI: Interspecies Co-op on their Group and User Website page. Team SETI is now "official" I suppose... is that a good thing?? Anyway Team SETI ground it's digital jack boots into the faces of 483 stunned competitors last week. It's all going on at the SETI page in the Hobbies department.

4-4: As a public service to the uh... public, the House of Wacks reminds you that daylight savings time goes into effect this weekend. Remember to set your clock forward 1 hour Saturday night. OK, you owe me now. The Joke of the Weak, as always, is updated today.

4-3: I discovered that the link to the HyperCard Player at Apple was broken so I fixed that today in the HyperCard page of the Extra department. I think it might be time to run my link checking program and start cleaning up any broken links here at the House of Wacks. If you notice any broken links then email me about it OK? I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

4-2: OK, hold onto your tonsils! Gary's Shock and Awe Thai Chili Sauce has just undergone a vital change of chemistry. Just as there is always something cooking at the Muppet Labs, there is constant tweaking and stroking of the recipes at the Chili Recipes page. This change is small yet there is a major shift and bloom of flavor. I'm no fan of vinegary sauces but the small addition of some to this pepper sauce just makes my toes curl. You need to try this out. Check out the Chili Pepper page in the Hobbies department for all your oral agony needs.

4-1: Iraq Surrenders to France! You heard it here first at the House of Wacks - your source for news, new and used. In a stunning development today Paris has announced a deal between Iraq and France where Iraq will accept Frances immediate and unconditional terms of surrender in a ploy to block a Coalition victory. But in a stunning development at the Baghdad peace treaty signing ceremony, a German cockroach wandered into the room looking for the source of all the stench, whereby French President Jacques Chirac immediately surrendered to the tiny, stunned insect. Now it seems Baghdad has come full circle as it is once again ruled by a filthy little cockroach... April fools by the way.

As usual, the Joke of the Weak is updated every weekday by 8AM PST and the SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.

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