Gary L. Simmons  rev 03/31/2002
Home Marathon Joke OT Weak Web Building Resumé Lynx Hobbies Extra Site Map Marathon Site Map Go to next department

Back to the news archives
Back to the home page

Archived News for the Month of March 2002

New this Week:

3-26: HORRORS! Another year has been added to the Photo Album page in the Extra department!

3-25: The SETI page in the Hobbies department is updated today with the latest results in the failure to find extraterresterial intelligence. Help me prove that nobody out there wants to talk to us by crunching some of your own SETI data. Find out how on the SETI page.

3-22: I was accused of being a nice guy in the Fileball Myth forums. View my response.

3-21: I have a million of these little 2X3" pieces of paper with doodles on them that used to hang on the wall in my room when I was a kid. I have combined some of these together into a collage because displaying them one at a time is boring and time & space consuming. Check out the surfer girl collage at the top of the High School Art page in the Art Portfolio section of the Hobbies department.

3-20: The CRC Handbook of Chemistry and Physics is the source of some hard scientific Chili Pepper Facts. It seems that not only is the molecular weight 305.42 something or others, capsaicin is soluble in booze. Next time you accidentally set your mouth on fire with chilies, rinse it out with 151 proof rum. The resulting fireball should brighten the night sky enough that the bats go home. Check it out on the Chili Pepper page in the Hobbies department.

3-19: OK, now the SETI results. Looks like everybody with a good SETI DNS server got to catch up at my expense. Go see the statistical damage at the SETI page in the Hobbies department.

3-18: Normally today I would upload the SETI results for the week but the DNS for them is hosed! Let's hope they come back online soon before I get anymore behind. These days I have to really work at just staying even! So ::stalling for time:: did you have a good St. Patricks day? We went out for corned beef and cabbage... ::checks SETI again:: DANG! er... look behind you!!! ::door opens:: ::scamper scamper scamper:: ::door slams::

3-15: Beware the Ides of March!

3-14: For you Marathon nuts out there (you know who you are) Hamish Sanderson would like a word with you concerning the porting of his scenario, "Trojan". If he said it once, he said it twice, "No ports of Trojan are approved". Read the fine details of the official word in the Marathon section. Click on Forge Tips, Hamish Sanderson's EditNotes, then look for the link on porting Trojan. Or hell, just go there.

3-13: "It remains our duty to protect civil liberties here at home while young fighting men in faraway lands risk their lives to defend our Constitution, our borders and our flag." These and more inspiring words in the President's Column at the NRA page in the Extra department.

3-12: "...we’re going to be blowing things up and smashing windows." "Hallelujah to the people who are willing to do it." Sound like a pep rally for terrorists at Al Qaeda headquarters? You are close, it is Bruce Friedrich - a campaign coordinator at PETA. Visit to see how your kind hearted donations to worthy SOUNDING organizations actually fund domestic terrorism. This new link is in the Information section of the Lynx page. For some odd reason you can connect to that web site better by using Netscape as a browser, Internet Explorer gives connection errors.

3-11: The SETI page is updated today over in the Hobbies department. I'm getting close to that 1,000 unit mark! You can help crunch numbers too, all the details are on the SETI page.

3-8: This year, with the uncertainty of the terror campaign launched against our way of life, there is a certainty about the campaign of legislative terror coming our way from the enemies of the Second Amendment. Read about it in the Standing Guard feature of the NRA page in the Extra department.

3-7: A new College Art graphic goes up in the Art Portfolio section of the Hobbies department. You can warm up by singing a couple verses of "Love Stinks" then to get exactly into the right mood you can step in front of the cannon and take a whale harpoon in the chest smack through the heart.

3-6: Check out the Armed Citizen page in the NRA section of the Extra department. Honest citizens doing what they do best, living law abiding lives despite the evil intent of the criminal element. It makes an inspiring read.

3-5: The Lynx page gets an update in the Downloads section with a very cool link, Sound Dogs. Download royalty free sound samples for your hobbies and projects. This is a very cool site.

3-4: The SETI page over in the Hobbies department gets updated today. You know, I've put over 1 year of computer CPU compute time into this project. This is my third year of being involved in it. My wife likes to help out too. You see... ET owes us money, he couldn't call collect the little bastard.

3-1: A wacky High School surfing cartoon goes up in the Art Portfolio section of the Hobbies department. Behold, O mortal, the power of surfing!

As usual, the Joke of the Weak is updated every weekday by 8AM PST and the SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.

Print the United States Flag on 8X11 Paper

Top of Page

Back to the news archives
Back to the home page