Gary L. Simmons  rev 04/30/2002
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Archived News for the Month of April 2002

New this Week:

4-30: Due to the demise of, I have updated my Marathon pages to download the featured Marathon map files from other online sources.

4-29: I saw little green men in my house last night!! But then I realized I was only standing on the wires that go into my head. In related news, the SETI page over in the Hobbies department is updated.

4-26: The NRA page over in the Extra department gets a facelift and the addition of a list of links to state associations that are active NRA partners.

4-24: Updated today is the Contemporary page of the Art Portfolio section in the Hobbies department. Back in the old days before there were hardly any fonts available, we had to create them ourselves, pound the binary into concrete blocks with our bare knuckles. You punks these days got it easy. Look for Calligraphy, download it, and you can copy and paste them into your own works of art.

4-23: I found a great site that you Mac gamers will really appreciate. It has all the update patches to all the games. If you are a gamer then you know what I mean, the rest of you can ask someone cool looking what I mean. Check it out in the Downloads section of the Lynx page.

4-22: The SETI page over in the Hobbies department is updated. Soon as we make contact we can build a vast fleet of interstellar battleships, warp to their star system, collect their entire species in freezer bags, put them in cryogenic stasis for the voyage home, and finally on return, feast on them. Or is that just my plan?

4-19: Can you find your way around a chili pepper? Need a road map? I gotcha covered over on the Chili Facts page in the Chili Peppers section of the Hobbies department. Look for Pepper Road Map.

4-18: How can one stupid Marathon film take you from dancing on the chaos-prone edges of virtual reality to decaying-polarized-critical-mass BOBs to kamikaze style suicide to the Periphery Zone to Black Reparations? Is this some sort of Kevin Bacon movie?? No it is Weird Science and it is happening on the Battle Cat's Marathon Page. Look for film 24 at the bottom of the Weird Science page.

4-16: "International 'nut of pastry" gets added to the Friends section of the Lynx page. This is the page of Blake A. Noble, an Australian Marathon friend who co-runs a big Marathon site at

4-15: The SETI page over in the Hobbies department is updated today. You can participate in the world's largest distributed programming project too. It's fun and easy, my wife and I share the duties. Head on over to the SETI page and see how you can join up and crunch numbers.

4-12: I am happy and proud to report that there has been over 150,000 visitors to the House of Wacks comprising almost 1 million hits! This is small beans to any professional or company site, even a failure, but for a personal web site this is quite an accomplishment! I have YOU to thank for it!! If nobody was showing up I wouldn't bother doing daily updates but... if they come - I WILL BUILD IT!!

4-11: You don't put people in jail for publishing the statements and voting records of elected politicians, you don't imprison people for participating in the public debate, and you don't pass laws that directly contradict the Constitution. Well, until campaign finance "reform" came along that is. Listen to Charlton Heston give 'em hell about it in the President's Column in the NRA section of the Extra department.

4-10: The High School Art page in the Art Portfolio section of the Hobbies department is updated with a dufus collage. Don't go there if you fear you will see your face looking back at you!

4-9: It sickens me how the liberal left is trying to take advantage of the sinister 9/11 terrorist attacks on American freedom to bolster their OWN sinister attacks on American freedoms, specifically the 2nd amendment right to keep and bear arms. Read about part of that mess on the Standing Guard page in the NRA section of the Extra department.

4-8: The SETI at home project is updated this morning. This beat up old G4 is still managing to hold its own by having crunched more data units than over 97% of the participants. Check it out on the SETI page over in the Hobbies department.

4-5: You gotta love it when an 11 year old boy can protect his mother from an attack by a box cutter weilding robber in their home. Read all about it on the Armed Citizen page in the NRA section of the Extra department.

4-3: What does spanked monkeys, Fusion Pistols, and a fresh coat of wall paint have in common? Lots, find out what on the Weird Science page of the Marathon department. Look for number 23 down at the bottom. Bring a towel.

4-2: Life goes on hold for a bit while I mess with my brand new red hot Radeon 8500 video card.

4-1: Hope you had a great Easter yesterday, it is one of my favorite holidays. The SETI page in the Hobbies department reaches a major milestone today. Over 1000 units have been crunched! You can download the coveted and O-fish-el 1000 unit certificate and see for yourself how Mac G4s rule with an iron fist over Timex Sinclairs and Radio Shack TR-80's!

As usual, the Joke of the Weak is updated every weekday by 8AM PST and the SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.

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