Gary L. Simmons  rev 09/30/2001
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Archived News for the Month of September 2001

New this Week:

9-28: A visitor to the Web Building page, S. Alan Brown, gave me some great first hand information from his experience in obtaining a page hit counter from Direct Hit. You will find this updated info on the Page Hit Counters tutorial. Alan, like many others in various parts of the House of Wacks have written in to offer a helping hand or their two cents. We truly are a community of minds here on the Internet. Thanks Alan!

9-27: A long lost link returns to the Lynx page. Lady Masvita's page is once again online and available to you in the Friends section of the Lynx page. Now if only that crumb bum would link back to me! Also added to the Lynx page in the Information section is FirstGov, the official search site for federal .gov sites. I used that to help me with yesterdays flag facts, it's pretty handy.

9-26: Because of all the US Flags popping up on the houses, business, cars, bicycles, bumpers, windows, butt tattoos, wall slats, hats, rats, cats, gnats, and bats I thought it would be helpful to provide some flag etiquette for us all. So click on over to the Special Events section of the NRA page in the Extra department and read all about the care and feeding of the United States Flag.

9-25: I have another stupid graphic I did for a Marathon scenario uploaded for viewing. I didn't do much more than color this one, the actual graphic that went into the game had lots of background and objects added, but it was also a lot smaller in size and thereby lost a lot of detail, so I went with the larger less fancy graphic. You can see it in the Contemporary section of the Art Portfolio page in the Hobbies department.

9-24: I spent time this weekend spiffing up the Resume and Cover Letter pages because I expect to have some company coming. Don't feel left out, you too can hire me, I'm cheap and easy. Added to the pages are MS Word documents available for download that contain the text of the resume and cover letters. I have gotten several e-mails saying that my page was visited and would I please send them a resume. I aims ta please.

9-21: After watching the President's address to Congress last night I realized we finally have another leader of the free world with all the fervor, might, drive, charisma and moral vision of the world as a Lincoln, Roosevelt, JFK or a Reagan. The House of Wacks is planning on going back to being self absorbed and silly but if I hear anymore of you idiots out there using the term "diaperhead" to describe Middle Easterners like that dopey Senator from Louisiana I'm going to bring back out the official House of Wacks Fingerbone of Shame and waggle it in your stupid faces. Our enemy is terrorists and terrorism, not Middle Easterners. Remember, a lot of them are AMERICANS! Besides, there are terrorist organizations in Ireland and South America that will receive our tender ministrations too. We here at the House of Wacks (me) will in coming days make fun of Middle Easterners, but only in the context that we make fun of everybody. We are an Equal Opportunity Ridiculer.

9-20: The House of Wacks waggles its Fingerbone of Shame at Representative Barbara Lee of California for being the only Congressional lawmaker to vote against giving the President the authority to use "necessary and appropriate force" to wage our war against terrorism. The vote was 420 to 1 on H. J. Res. 64. As a Californian, I am astonished at her lack of political savvy and completely ashamed that she hales from my state. She has removed her e-mail address from her web site because she was complaining about people complaining about her, but you can still e-mail her if you go to this page and enter the zip code of 94612 and the state of California into the form. I did. You can write, call or fax her at:

Rep. Barbara Lee
1301 Clay Street, Suite 1000N
Oakland, CA 94612
Phone:(510) 763-0370
Fax:(510) 763-6538

9-19: It is getting pretty hard to display an American flag these days, almost every store is sold out of flags. The House of Wacks is doing it's part to help alleviate that flag shortage. I have created a flag for you to display in your house window, car window, or wherever that you can print out using your computer. This flag will just fit on a 8 1/2 by 11 piece of printer paper. Simply click on this flag link and select "Print..." from the "File" menu. God bless America!

9-18: Do you want to do something for your country? Go out and buy something, hop on an airplane and visit your family, or display a flag in your window or car. Patriotism has never been so easy. The cost of Mac memory has plummeted lately, I bought 512 Megs of memory yesterday, it cost 15 dollars less than the 256 Megs I bought three months ago! If you are ever going to buy stock, now is the time, the market is way down. In ten years you will kick yourself for not having invested more. Buy US Savings Bonds, they only cost as much as a computer game, and you are directly benefiting America as well as lining your own pockets later on.

9-17: The Lynx page gets an update in the Information section with the addition of a link to the Internet Fraud Complaint Center. You can use this government link to report terrorist activity or Internet fraud. In the Marathon section, Quartz has changed his email address in his Anvil tutorial. Also new today is the "Made in America" graphic at the bottom of the home page. Feel free to make a copy of it and display it on your own web page. I'm proud to say that I am an American. You can be one too even if you are Afghani and, unlike Afghanistan, there are people lining up here to get in!

9-15: Weekend Bulletin! The House of Wacks has just learned that construction plans have already started on the New World Trade Center!! Below is an artists rendition of the new floor plan.

Back at ya

9-14: The House of Wacks is respecting our Presidents call for a National Day of Prayer and Remembrance for those now dying and those that have been lost in the 09/11/2001 terrorist attacks on New York City and Washington DC:

"Lord, please help us to rescue the survivors with all haste, to comfort the bereaved, to react to this incident with clarity and wisdom, to be responsible in our actions and reactions, and to morally and effectively deal with terrorists to stop their mantra of hatred and death. Please help our nation to come together: for at least a while to stop being a hyphened American, a victimized gender or sex preference, a political partisan or whatever we think makes us different and special. Help us to realize that we are all Americans and we are all in this mess together and we all need to pull in the same direction. Lastly, please put something in our hearts to help us to turn to you more often, and not just to come shouting when the sharks are circling. In Jesus name I pray, amen."

9-13: I enjoyed the scanner pictures of the Bird Mouth Chilies so much that I decided to take more pictures of chilies on my scanner. I harvested a couple of Habaneros from my garden and I also made a trip to the store and scored some Jalapenos and some Serranos. I eventually plan to replace all the small crude graphics with original scanner photos. You can see these new scanner graphics of some of my favorite chilies on the Chili Pepper page over in the Hobbies section.

9-12: The House of Wacks is observing a day of mourning for those lost in yesterdays act of terrorism.

9-11: Addendum: In light of the worst single incident I have ever observed in my 53 years of life, the "21st Century Pearl Harbor", the destruction of the World Trade Center buildings using commercial aircraft filled with women and children causing tens of thousands of deaths, I can only offer a prayer:

"Lord, please help us to rescue the survivors with all haste, to comfort the bereaved, to react to this incident with clarity and wisdom, to be responsible in our actions and reactions, and to morally and effectively deal with terrorists to stop their mantra of hatred and death. In Jesus name I pray, amen."

If you have any information concerning this act of terrorism you can log onto

9-11: "The religion of freedom", powerful words you will most likely only hear in America where most of us still value the hard won rights bestowed upon us by the Constitution of the United States. As an American, what would you think about having a company from a foreign standing army in your town? That is the plans the United Nations has for the world, only they call it a "standing peace force". Whatever fuzzy-cozy names you call it, it still sounds like the plans for world domination that Stalin and Hitler had. Read about this and other items of interest affecting your freedoms in the Presidents Column at the NRA page in the Extra department.

9-10: They are not quite weapons grade plutonium but you will be able to melt a tank with your breath after eating them. I have a started harvesting my new breed of hot pepper, Bird Mouth chilies. These were sent to me as seeds by a very nice person named Michel Friedman, this is my first year growing them. They are very tasty, almost fruity, much like a Habanero only not as hot. Also like a Habanero, they are hotter in your stomach than they are in your mouth but they are very hot in your mouth. This Chili is a keeper! I have scanned a picture of some Bird Mouth chilies from my garden and you can find them featured on the Chili Pepper page in the Hobbies section. Far right side, top row of Chili pictures.

9-7: Is the Attorney General guilty of defending the Second Amendment of the Constitution? Is that legal? Can he do that? Isn't that unethical? That's the questions the anti-firearm extremists want to fool you into thinking are legitimate. Who else would be fanatically crazy enough to complain about a US Attorney General defending and supporting the Constitution of the United States? Read about this and other craziness in the Standing Guard feature of the NRA page in the Extra department.

9-6: For you Marthon folks out there I have a sketch I scanned and colorized from the original Marathon user manual. This was to go into a terminal in a possibly defunct Marathon Scenario, but since it may never see the light of day, I'm putting it on in the Contemporary Art section of my Art Portfolio page in the Hobbies department.

9-5: Lieutenant Diane Garrison, commander of the state police post in Flint Michigan commented that she believes people should be able to defend their homes. "[A person] has a right to protect his home and his family," remarked Maj. Steve West of the North Carolina Harnett County Sheriff's Dept. What are they talking about? Go see for yourself on the Armed Citizen feature of the NRA page.

9-4: I can't tell you how fast growing old is growing old. Last month I aged several years and it looks like this month it's going to be more of the same. I should never have added plutonium to my hot sauce... but hind site is 20/20 and after all those chile peppers I can see out my hind end better than most. Check me out at 45 years of age on the Photo Album page of the Extra department.

9-3: Hey, what happened?? Two weeks gone, pffffft, just like that! My wife and I took an extended car tour of the western states and the Midwest and we didn't even get you a crummy T-shirt. It was sort of a late shake down cruise of our new car. We saw lots of great sights... you know, Nebraska was looking pretty good. I must be getting old... but by damn I'm taking you all with me! Anyway, there is a new month to trash here at the House of Wacks and I gotta start getting busy.

As usual, the Joke of the Weak is updated every weekday by 8AM PST and the SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.
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