Gary L. Simmons  rev 05/31/2001
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Archived News for the Month of May 2001

New this Week:

5-31: Today is the last day we will be accepting complaints about the month of May. After 12PM today, complaints about that month will be returned to the complainee at their own expense. Complaints about May disguised as complaints about June will be dealt with harshly. Those who wish to complain about the year 2001 are not affected by this decision and may continue to direct their comments to the House of Wacks for appropriate action however if these comments contain gripes about May then that is a night in the box.

5-28: I wish a meaningful, relaxing and contemplative Memorial Day to all my fellow "baby murderers", "imperialist pigs" and "saber rattlers" out there in America. Despite the whining, name calling and hate mongering of the anti-military left, we will continue to put our lives on the line to keep them free. Remember those who paid the highest price. God bless America!

5-23: Parents, children - it's 2001 AD o'clock... do you know where your savior is?

5-21: I heard about this web site that debunks the politically motivated and generated "science" that you keep getting beat over your heads with by politically biased news media, special interest groups, environmentalists and other propaganda sources. This place provides the actual solid scientific fact that is often misrepresented by these people. It is time we all arm ourselves with the truth. There is nothing more that a crooked politician hates than the solid truth in the form of hard facts. In real life, science is the search for truth but in the hands of those who seek power through misinformation, real science is the farthest thing from their minds. Check out in the Information section of the Lynx page and see for yourself what the REAL numbers add up to.

5-18: I forgot to mention yesterday that I went to Bungie's Fan Fest V on the 16th. Had a lot of fun and I did a write up about it that is on the news page at Check out the news at the Lh'owon Ar'kives and become bungified.

5-15: From UN gun control to the pyramids to flubber grenades, you can only get this range of topics at The House of Wacks! There is a new topic a brewin' in the Muppet Labs division of the Weird Science wing at the Battle Cat's Marathon Page. Flubber grenades, grenades that bounce higher with each bounce. I done seen 'em and I done caught 'em on film. This is bigger than Big Foot, and nastier than Nessie, if you have Marathon and you are into the odd little oddities of the Marathon engine then you will want to see this one. Go to the Weird Science page and look for "Weird Science 19".

5-14: Next up is Charlton Heston on the President's Column on the NRA page. Mr. Heston discusses a book concerning the causes of youth violence. The author of the book is Dr. Helen Smith, a forensic psychologist. Dr. Smith argues that it isn't the weapon, or the Internet or entertainment violence that turns kids into killers, but rather a complex conflict between too little supervision at home, too many rules at school, and a breakdown in the social safeguards that teach kids rules, responsibilities and the consequences of misconduct.

5-11: I don't know how Europe and the rest of the world is going to get their fat pulled out of the fire by freedom loving Americans for the third time in the next world war if they have America as stripped of arms and freedoms and as cowed as they would like us to be. Check out this article by NRA Vice President Wayne LaPierre over on the NRA page. How can we put our hearts into a fight for "freedom" if we don't know what it is we are fighting to protect? We will just be another groveling populace squashed by an oppressive government if the UN had it's way.

5-9: Be it African lion, home invaders, robbers, or carjackers; Americas armed citizens protect themselves, their family, their friends and their property with firearms. If it weren't for our second amendment rights those of us threatened with physical harm would ALL be victims. See how you can assuage your God given need to live through the day. Read all about it in the Armed Citizen section of the NRA page!

5-4:Well I have just spent the last two weeks putting almost everything on hold while I tore downthe outside of the screened in patio and rebuilt it from new materials. It took a lot of work with the hammer and I smashed my fingers several times with it. One wound made a big blood blister that I later smashed open and now it is a little infected. I forget what I said, something like, "Oh haha, clumsy me!". Anyway, I was watching this thing on TV about Egypt and the pyramids and I got to wondering how many fingers were squished building that thing. There has to be a number value. When I get to Heaven I'll ask, but of course, that not might happen now because of what I really said when I smashed my fingers...

5-1: MAY DAY! MAY DAY! Echo seven zero niner this is Tango Bravo Charlie, the House of Wacks has capsized in the Sea of Mediocrity. I say again, this is Tango Bravo Charlie, the House of Wacks has capsized in the Sea of Mediocrity, over. Dang! the radio is out. OK folks, this is going to be a rough month, women and children to the lifeboats! Hurry, WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST!!
.......... OK, they're gone. Dibs on the remote, hey guys, the Man Show is on and I got Battlebots on tape!!

As usual, the Joke of the Weak is updated every weekday by 8AM PST and the SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.
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