Gary L. Simmons  rev 12/31/2001
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Archived News for the Month of December 2001

New this Week:

12-31: A good friend of mine, Ron Stephens, sent me a copy of an article from the Wall Street Journal. It was so good I decided to reproduce it on my Special Events page in the NRA section of the Extra department. I have read each of these things separately and it is gratifying to see these facts put together and published by a prestigious media company.

12-27: There is a bit of useful art on the Contemporary page of my Art section in the Hobbies department. This is a letter stationary that I used to send mail on to a little old lady who loved brownies. The supernatural kind not the eatin' kind. But then I suppose you could cook 'em up, although they would just fry down to a little gob of grease. Don't worry, I couldn't do that anyway, not with the shortage nowadays of skeet! Look for "Brownie Ladder" at the bottom of the page.

12-25: MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Here is hoping the Christmas Fairy of Loot takes a gigantic dump under your Christmas tree. God bless us everyone!

12-24: Gosh I miss that little Smoggy cat! What a gigantic hole he has left in my life. Regardless, I've started to update the House of Wacks again. Today I have started up the Joke of the Weak again and there is an update to the SETI page. It's a pretty good joke on the joke page, even for an old fart like me, I can laugh at myself. And why not? Everyone else is, I may as well join in.

12-19: 9:45 AM Tuesday the 18th of December marks the passing of my little cat Smoggy. In my 53 years: I have buried my father, in Vietnam I have been covered in blood, stacked bodies like cord wood, and pulled screaming wounded men out of burning helicopters, then back home again I buried my mother. But perversely, never have I been so torn with grief, so wracked with remorse and loss then when my decade long companion became terminally ill, was put to sleep at my request and buried by me in the garden at my home. In the past I have been so profoundly stoic and numb to the past horrors in my life that I am truly amazed at the depth of my emotion, the extent of my sorrow. I didn't think I had it in me. Smoggy gave me 10 years of pure unconditional love and as his final gift in the end, he proved to me that I am human after all. I will always miss him.

12-18: A visitor to the House of Wacks, Darrell Deeds, suggested I add a link to my Lynx page for the Armed Passenger web site. I checked it out and thought it was a great idea. Thanks Darrell. For now it is in the Info section of the Lynx page but later I may start a links section on my NRA page. I think that having law abiding and armed Americans with conceiled carry permits on airline flights is a fabulous idea. Unlike Schumer and Feinstein, I TRUST Americans to do the right thing and would feel safer knowing there were those aboard willing to risk their lives to protect the rest of the us. At LEAST arm the pilots.

12-17: Hey remember Well it's back with a new name, and I'm still a big mucky muck there helping to admin the joint! For those of you not familiar with this web site, it is a computer gamers paradise. Fileball is a free file archive of 3rd party game mods, add-ons and plug-ins. This is the perfect place to display your work and to download, play, and critique the work of others. Fileball is totally rewritten and better than ever. Check it out!!

12-13: A new addition to the Lynx page! A friend reminded me of, the website featuring the creator of my all time favorite cartoon, "Ren and Stimpy". I checked it out and there is lots of stuff there that any student of humor, cartooning or bufoonary in general would apperciate. Look in the Humor section for Spumco.

12-12: Benjamin Franklin said more than 200 years ago, "Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." All too often, they lose both liberty and safety. Charlton Heston expounds on this subject over on the President's Column in the NRA section of the Extra department.

12-11: Gosh are you lucky. I just put up another stupid grimmie picture over on the High School page of the Art Portfolio in the Hobbies department. Hurry, cause LAST ONE THERE... tricked the suckers to get in line ahead of him.

12-10: American Airlines Capt. Tom Snelling put it in the form of a question: "Am I the only one who finds it unconscionable that an Air Force fighter can now shoot down a hijacked civilian airliner full of passengers, but the pilots of that airliner are not allowed to defend the aircraft from the hijacker, thus preventing the hijacking in the first place?" Read more about the stupidity of the left and their attempts to use 9-11 as a basis for disarming law abiding Americans on the Standing Guard page in the NRA section of the Extra department..

12-7: As promised last month, I have updated the Marathon Related Humor page in the Marathon department with an old gag I found recently on a backup zip disk. If you are a resident of then you know the old old bit about how these two guys that have chick names, sorta, and the real to mock confusion that those names have generated. Look for the "Loren and Courtney Expose" link on the left.

In a more somber mode, hats off to the folks who died today in 1941 at Pearl Harbor. Almost exactly 60 years later, we have a similar incident in New York. For the first time, folks in the modern era can know how folks in 1941 felt upon hearing the news of over 2,000 people killed in a sneak attack.

12-06: Been pretty busy around here what with the Christmas holidays and saving the world in Deus Ex and managing the war in Afghanistan by yelling at the TV and taking care of the cats (hey you, take a nap) and caring for every individual atom of my home and blowing off phone spam with my answering machine and keeping my navel dust free. I somehow skipped the Joke of the Weak yesterday so I made up the loss. Sorry about that.

12-05: The Armed Citizen feature of the NRA page in the Extra department is updated today. A House of Wacks visitor, Dan Thomas, wrote me yesterday to say as an Army vet and gun buff he especially enjoyed the NRA page. Thank you Dan for your kind words and thank you again for your service to our country. May God bless you and all our military men and women in uniform.

12-4: Now that it is the end of the year I would like to thank the two joke mules who have contributed the most to the Joke of the Weak. Jane Davison and Ron Stephens, thank you both for all the great jokes you have been sending me. A tip O the hat and a big HEE HAW to you from the House of Wacks. I always need new jokes, I need new jokes right now. Anybody can contribute, just try to keep them somewhere in the General through PG-13 level, and send them to me in an e-mail.

12-3: There is a great sight gag involving Photoshop, a magazine ad, and a picture of my Brother-in-law that I did awhile back. Check it out on the Contemporary Art section of my Art Portfolio page.

As usual, the Joke of the Weak is updated every weekday by 8AM PST and the SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages President's Column, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.

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