Gary L. Simmons  rev 04/30/2001
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Archived News for the Month of April 2001

New this Week:

4-30: This is your last chance to gripe about April and time to get your feet firmly set in the starting blocks to start griping about May. You thought April was stupid, boy wait till you get a load of May! Ha, May. Just to think about it sets my teeth on edge. They were all laying nice and flat from my last fight fight till I sat here and thunked of May. Anyway back to April, 30 days, how lame is that?? All April is good for is to water May. If we could just throw out April, Christmas would come a month earlier! The ratio of summer vacation to school would grow mightily! Let's start a petition!

4-26: I forgot to mention Monday that the House of Wacks SETI project just went over 700 units crunched. This represents over 5,569 hours of CPU time spent munching and crunching away in pursuit of the goals of the worlds largest distributed programming project. As it stands I have done more units than 96.847% of the users, all two million, eight hundred forty four thousand, three hundred and ninety one of them!

4-24: My wife just had her first root canal yesterday. The good news is that she said that it was no worse than any other day we spent being together but then of course the bad news is that she said that it was no worse than any other day we spent being together. She was brave about it despite my constant teasing, gruesome humor and dire predictions and when the time came she marched right into the dentist office and got her root canal like the Marine I raised her up to be. Semper Fi wife-O-mine.

04-22: The Good News just keeps pouring in!!

04-18: No news is good news and boy do we have some good news for you today!!

04-16: YOW! The hit counter went over 50,000 visitors to the House of Wacks this week! I am really amazed and gratified that a personal web page could generate that amount of traffic. Earthlink's Urchin reports distinguish between hits and visitors, hits number 227,415! There is an average of 7.76 megs of junk transferred every day for a total of over 1.3 gigabytes since February of 2000. Thank you all for your participation and patronage!!

04-13: Got your lucky bhanta foot hanging around your neck? Bad luck for you, the bhanta is here to get it back. Hey if Good Friday is on the 13th does that neutralize it any? Is it OK Friday? Fair Friday? Passing Friday? Don't let a gray cat cross your path, because today you will have indifferent luck! Have a good Easter people. Think about the sponsor of that holiday this weekend.

04-11: You won't hear much about it in the media, but United Nations leaders have been meeting quietly behind closed doors for several years now to impose their anti gun schemes on you. Read all about it on the President's Column from the NRA page in the Extra section.

04-10: I bought Unreal Tournament Sunday. I would have gotten it sooner but the demo sucked. I already had Quake Arena III so why bother? My advice is... BOTHER! UT is a very well thought out game. I am having a terrific time playing in the tournament. If you don't have it by now, go out and get it because they have reduced the price of it at this stage of marketing. Hey... did the weatherman say it was going to rain giblets today?

04-09: Wayne LaPierre, the second in command at the NRA explains why the left feared the nomination of Attorney General Ashcroft. Project Exile and the disarming of violent criminals has proven itself to work! They can't stand to have gun laws that actually work when their real agenda is dismantling the Bill of Rights! Read all about it in the Standing Guard article in the NRA section.

04-5: "Bugs 1" - "Gary 24". That's the score so far in the current econiche war raging in my House O' Wacks chili pepper garden. One of my rare prize South American Bird Mouth Chilies bit the dust. The culprit was most likely an earwig. A pox on earwigs! Services will be held for the seedling stump today at 4PM PST. In lieu of flowers please send money. Earlier this week in a separate incident a cricket was caught munching yet another Bird Mouth Chili! What is it with you bugs?!?! BACK OFF! The cricket was expelled from the garden and will most likely beget generations of sinners. I can see this coming back on me.

04-4: There is a new "Armed Citizen" article on the NRA page. Check it out and see how you too could protect the lives of your family and innocent citizens with the proper use of a firearm. The 2nd amendment of the Constitution of the United States guarantees Americans the RIGHT to keep and bear arms. Hopefully this new presidential administration will enforce the laws already on the books and take the abusers of this unique American right off the streets.

04-2: The Lh'owon Ar'kives has really taken off! Every day I and others are adding to the data base of Marathon files. Sign up for a free membership and you can upload your own files and write reviews. Non-members can download files and rate maps, but you should sign up because there are other benefits like the messaging service and so on. This is pretty cool stuff for gamers. Next up at Evihcra will most likely be Unreal Tournament! No promises, but it sure looks that way.

As usual, the Joke of the Weak is updated every weekday by 8AM PST and the SETI page is updated every Monday. The NRA pages President's Corner, Standing Guard and Armed Citizen are updated each month.
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